


None Of Her Bismuth

by shankress



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Bismuth x Pearl - Freeform, F/F, bispearl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23064220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shankress/pseuds/shankress
Summary: Bismuth has always been hiding her affections for Pearl, until one fateful day when Pearl invited her out to roller skate...
Relationships: Bismuth & Pearl (Steven Universe), Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 80





	1. Getting Bismuth Started

**Author's Note:**

> After watching Bismuth Casual, I just couldn't help myself. 
> 
> First chapter is just an intro that I felt needed to be written in order to give Bismuth some background of her origins. Feel free to skip it but know that It's also gonna tie into the story at some point.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time rewinds as we get a look into Bismuth's origins...

It began with a gem who was molded to be the molder. She would rise from the ashes of a dying planet to become what she would already know to become. She emerged from the surface, a purpose to be fulfilled, a plan to be set in motion…

A duty to be done.

From the very beginning, there were obvious questions set in place. She knew better than to ask them, so she never gave it another thought. She simply carried on with her duties and always had done what she was expected to do; mold. 

She had enjoyed spending her spare time smithing weapons for gem elites, which, for her, seemed like more of a hobby because when she tried offering to make weapons to equip them with, in the event that they needed them, she was considered too “fresh from the hole”, as the elites would say, for them to even dare accept any weapons she would offer them. When she wasn’t doing that, however, she and other gems like her, would build spyres and temples for the gem elites and would soon begin to help construct gem colonies, much like the one she had emerged from. 

Building weapons was much easier and more laid-back for her than building temples and spyres, but she knew she couldn’t continue to defy the orders of her Diamond leaders to continue to work on something she found much more entertaining and effortless, especially when no one else was asking her to. She always did what she was told. After a while, however, she was starting to grow weary of this. 

Then, one day, she and her group of Bismuths had just finished building what was her first arena. Once they were done, they took their “leave” which usually just meant they went back to building spyres and temples until the next big project came along. Although gems like her were granted little to no downtime whatsoever, she felt instant relief in returning to her former duties. 

She was mischievous in the sense that she would crack wise with a joke or two to keep the atmosphere nice and lively, every once in a while. None of her fellow gem workers, however, seemed too enthralled by it. They knew better than to play into the mischief, especially while on the job. This made her feel like she didn’t belong, an outcast in a community where they were all supposed to be exactly the same in every conceivable way. 

Time was endless and this particular work season had seemed to extend for a few hundred years or so, until one fateful day when their testing period had finally come to a conclusion and she and her fellow Bismuth workers were finally ready to move up in their duties as Bismuths.

She and the rest of her group had gone through a series of training, building colonies for lesser planets, in preparation for a project that was going to be the greatest and most important job they were ever given; building a colony on Pink Diamond’s very first planet.

They were to leave Homeworld for the first time to build their very first colony on Earth. 

The group had already been building various buildings above Earth’s surface, but this was the first time they were going underground, at least on this planet.

As excited as she and all the other Bismuths were to finally be doing something different again, she couldn’t help but realize that this job wasn’t any different from all the rest. She and her group had constructed colonies on various other planets before, so Earth was no different. The only thing that made any difference about it was that this time, it was Pink Diamond’s planet, which made absolutely no difference to the work itself, if only the leader who was going to be giving the orders. Even so, there was nothing she could do about it and, even though she found herself beginning to question things, it wasn’t in her place to ask those questions. 

They had all arrived immediately knowing what they had to do and how they were going to do it. The work had gone on for decades, all to prepare for the arrival of the gems who would emerge from these holes. Everything seemed to be going on exactly as it always had before, but something was about to happen that would shift the predictable and steady balance in this Bismuth’s world.

She had no way of knowing what was to come. Something had happened one day that had steered her from her usual work flow, something entirely unexpected. 

After a couple of centuries had gone by and the gems planted in the ground began emerging from their holes, Bismuth and her group were preparing to finalize the good work they had done and go straight back to Homeworld to be assigned their next project. A Sapphire was assigned to them to let them know when the Diamonds would be expecting them to return. The workers did not know exactly why they needed a Sapphire for that since they had the technology to contact their leaders, directly, but they all just figured the Diamonds did not like to be kept waiting and that it would be a better idea for their loyal gems to return to them before they’d even know it. 

When the time was finally approaching, the Sapphire had begun to inform them in a way that they were certainly not used to hearing. 

“May I have all of your attention, Bismuths,” announced the Sapphire. “I have a prediction.” 

Like clockwork, all the Bismuths stopped chatting amongst themselves and turned their attention to her, once they heard the key word, “prediction”.

“I predict that the rebel Rose Quartz and Pearl gems will strike right above us,” she said, attempting to hide the shakiness, rising in her throat, “upon Blue Diamond’s court.”

Gasps were heard coming from all around. While all the other workers appeared to be worried, astonishment was seen in Bismuth’s eyes. She had heard of these new rebel gems who had come to put a stop to all their years of hard work and was told to be wary of them, but she had never known that one of them was a Pearl. It was unlike a Pearl to question any orders, let alone defy them. If it was one thing they were made to do more than anyone or anything else, it was to follow orders. The mere concept of a Pearl joining a rebellion was foreign to her and unheard of by all gemkind… 

… and, rather than strike fear, this intrigued her.

It was more than she could imagine; Pearls, training to battle against each other, using the weapons they were equipped with, weapons that  _ she  _ could equip them with. If she worked on them enough, she could create tremendous upgrades that could overpower the rebels who would never see it coming. This was her shot. She could create a whole new job that she and her compatriots could do, instead, and actually have the Diamonds’ blessing to do it! She would be respected by the elites who had ridiculed her before. She would finally get to do what she wanted. 

“Because of this unfortuitous event,” continued the Sapphire, “your departure will seem to be delayed, for the time being. My Diamonds will want to make sure we do not run into any casualties along our journey back to Homeworld and, therefore, will not be departing any time in the near future. Please take this extra time to finalize the emergence of all gems colonized thus far and prepare for ultimate departure. You may preoccupy yourselves in the time leftover.”

One of the workers tossed a fist up in the air, shouting, “Alright! Break time!” The rest of the workers cheered on as this was their first ever official downtime from working since the day they had emerged whereas Bismuth lit up. This was her chance. 

She fled from the site to search for an empty part of the colony where she would begin to mine for supplies to use for her newly realized project. 

After many days of mining and digging, she would nearly reach the Earth’s core before she finally came up on some lava that would help her mold the weapons she would create from various materials she had dug up and some supplies she had brought with her. At the end of each day, she would return to her group to stay caught up on the status of their departure and to lower suspicions about her project until it was ready to be revealed.

Weeks had gone by this way. Departure was at a complete halt after learning what had happened as the ambush of the rebel gems had come to pass. The Sapphire kept insisting that they all stay put until she could predict when it would be safe for them to depart. None of the workers would question this in light of their extended leisure time and this was only working in our Bismuth’s favor as she got closer and closer to finishing her project. 

Then, one day, she was nearing the completion of her prototype weapon. She had gotten so close to finishing, she was determined to keep going until she was done, losing track of time. 

Suddenly, as she was just getting started on the finishing touches, she heard an unfamiliar sound coming from the surface. 

Bismuth took a quick gasp, startled by this noise, until she saw one of her fellow gem workers emerge from the shadows. 

“Oh!” she exclaimed in relief, slapping a palm to her forehead. “It’s just you.” As much of an outcast as she had felt in her work environment, there was this special sibling-like kind of bond that all like gems seemed to share and Bismuth did not feel threatened by her sister gems and couldn’t help her excitement for her project that was nearing fruition.

She approached her fellow worker and wrapped an arm around her. “I’m just about done with it. You  _ gotta  _ check this out.” She pulled her fellow worker closer to her experiment.

While our Bismuth was delighted to finally reveal her near-completed project, her fellow worker seemed very timid upon this revelation. She moved her gaze across the entirety of what appeared to be some kind of a makeshift forge. In one corner, there were three buckets filled with various materials and supplies. In another, there was a pile of broken weapons. In the middle of it, lay a block of stone with a smooth surface. Laying above the stone was what appeared to be some kind of weapon in the making. Finally, behind that, in the far back, was a pool of lava that lit up the entire room. The fellow worker’s eyes widened at the sight of it. 

The fellow worker was given no room to speak as our Bismuth proceeded to give her the break down.

“Like it?” asked our Bismuth, unable to diminish her smile. “I've been working on it for a while now. This is gonna be the very thing that will change our lives for the better!”

Bismuth gestured to the center of the large stone that held what had become her most proud creation, yet. 

“I call it ‘The Upgrade’.” She paused for dramatic effect. In this pause, the fellow worker took the opportunity to state the obvious. “Looks… a lot like a-”

“-A weapon  _ made  _ for a Pearl, right?” Bismuth stifled an excitable squeal. “Now, I  _ know _ what you’re thinking. This is  _ probably-  _ oh, Stars,  _ probably _ ? More like  **_definitely_ ** the craziest idea on Earth, but - and hear me out on this - what  _ if _ this is  _ exactly  _ what will end the Rebellion, once and for all?”

As the fellow worker opened her mouth, lifting a finger in attempts to speak out her own opinion on the subject, Bismuth went on.

“Think about it! This could actually  _ work _ ! There’s all this talk about an “uprising Rebellion” right? So who do you think are gonna be the first ones to join in on it?”

The fellow worker, once again, tried to say something and, once again, was immediately interrupted.

“Exactly!  _ Pearls _ .” She swooped around to face her fellow worker and placed both hands on her shoulders. “Riddle me this: a Pearl was one of the very first to join, right? Of course, it was a Pearl! Pearls are literally  _ made  _ to follow orders. Don’t you think after this starts to spread that more Pearl’s are bound to come running?”

The fellow worker could only let an “I-” escape her before Bismuth gave one strong pat to her back.

“Once I finish this baby,” she continued, picking up the weapon from its smooth stone slab before making her way toward one of the buckets, “I can show it to the Diamonds and they’ll  _ have  _ to agree with me.” She picked up a handful of dirt from one of the buckets and proceeded to dip her hand, as well as the other hand that carried the unfinished weapon, in the lava and as she spoke the next words, the fellow worker saw a fire in her eyes that became more prominent with the glow of the boiling lava that was illuminating her face. She had never before seen this in any other gem, much less one of her fellow Bismuths.

“They’ll know that the only way to defeat an exceptionally battle-trained Pearl, one of Homeworld’s smartest and clever gems ever created, is to fight fire…” She took both hands from the lava to reveal the prototype weapon that had finally been completed. “... with fire.”

The fellow gem fell silent as she gazed, apprehensively, at the finalized prototype. 

Bismuth raised the weapon high. “With this, we can finally move ourselves up in the  _ game _ . No more boring temples or spyres and  _ especially _ , no more overtiring colonies. We would be  _ respected  _ by our leaders and  _ beloved  _ by all gemkind.”

Bismuth lowered the weapon, holding it perfectly balanced in both hands as she stared pensively upon it, smiling, until she heard the discouraging words that were finally spoken by her fellow worker.

“It’s not going to work,” said the fellow worker, lowly. 

Bismuth looked up with a furrowed brow, discarding what she heard by arguing, “Yes, it will. I just told you how. If a Pearl rebels, there’s bound to be more Pearls to- ”

“It would never work,” the fellow worker had reiterated, raising her voice. She, then, sighed and continued, lowering her voice, “because the Sapphire has already predicted it.”

Bismuth was struck by this statement for a moment, then immediately shook her head, collecting herself as she scoffed in denial, “And you’re gonna take  _ her  _ word for it? You know those predictions aren’t always  _ that  _ accurate. Take a look at what happened just weeks ago up in Blue Diamond’s court! I believe-”

“It’s not worth the risk, Bismuth!”

The room fell silent, once again. Gems were never known to call each other by their race. If anything at all, they usually referred to each other by their gem cut. The fact that the fellow worker had referred to her own kind that way, meant that this was certainly not a matter to be taken lightly. 

The fellow gem continued, “If the Diamonds ever  _ were  _ to find out about this, they wouldn’t just so easily jump on board with what you’re trying to do here. All you would be doing is creating stronger weapons for them to, ultimately, counter with even  _ stronger  _ weapons. The Diamonds would never approve and you would be considered a defective and be  _ shattered  _ for defying the orders that were assigned to you.”

Bismuth took these words she had been told and considered the consequences, dishearteningly. Suddenly, she found herself questioning something, once again, and, for the first time, finally spoke up to ask it.

“How did you even know where to find me?”

“The Sapphire,” the fellow worker admitted, lowering her gaze to the ground with a horrendously concerned look on her face. “She saw you, here, working on your weapon. She saw every way you took to come here and build this place. She saw you finishing your weapon and showing it off to our fellow Bismuth workers. She saw you being taken away to be broken. You never make it to the Diamonds and nobody else gives it a second thought.” 

The fellow worker looked back up to the gem whose form mirrored her own. Her expression softened to that of genuine concern for her sister gem as she became the one to lean over and put a reassuring hand on our Bismuth’s shoulder. 

“I’m  _ warning  _ you,” she said, sternly, “from one Bismuth to another….” she inhaled through her nose, then, hesitantly, said, “... and as a friend: You can’t afford to go through with this. None of us can. The Sapphire will be able to predict all the possibilities of each and every move you make. With a power like that, there’s no way to sneak or work around this. Understand this: No matter what you say or do, every path foreseen leads you to your doom.”

Bismuth felt like her form could retreat into her gem at any moment. She knew there was never a chance for her to change the way things had always been. As much as she could try, she, alone, would never be able to work her away around the fact that she and every other gem in Homeworld were created for one purpose and one purpose only and they had to serve that purpose. They were never meant to do anything else. She was never meant to be anything but what she was supposed to be. 

She had formed one more question to ask, though feeling that she already knew the answer.

“Why send you to warn me? Why not just rat me out? Expose me?”

The fellow worker brought her hand back to her side and stood up straight. “She knew you would be wise enough to follow orders.”

This had struck Bismuth right through her form, because she knew it, herself, to be true. She had no choice. The Sapphire didn’t need to use her power to predict that. It was then that she had realized that the Sapphire wasn’t sent to inform them when to depart, but to weed out any other rebellious gems who would dare defy the orders they were given. Homeworld didn’t need Bismuth’s weapons. The rebel gems never would never stand a chance against the Diamonds, either way. 

At that point, Bismuth had no longer begun to question things and went on to destroy the makeshift forge, burying it, along with the weapon she had created, deep underneath the Earth’s surface. She was now ready to do what she was made to do and nothing else, ever again. 

Making it back to the site with her fellow worker, she immediately noticed the Sapphire who was facing directly toward her, expressionless. Bismuth glared at her, resentfully, as she made her way back to her post. The Sapphire remained expressionless as she followed our Bismuth with her gaze. 

A couple more Earth days went by before the Sapphire had finally announced that they were ready for departure. Bismuth and her group began to make preparations, joining her fellow workers as they moved to higher ground where the ship would arrive to collect them. 

Hours passed as they waited at the pick-up point. The group of Bismuths began to grow restless, feeling that it was unnecessary to wait so long when they could have just remained in the Kindergarten for a little while longer. 

This was giving our Bismuth too much time to think as she laid back, staring up into the sky. She wasn’t used to having so much time to sit and think. Usually, she would be too preoccupied with her work to ponder fantasies of what she now knew to be impossible. Despite everything that had happened and all the questions that were still floating around in her head, she couldn’t wait to leave the Earth and move on to her next assignment. 

As she looked up at the empty blue of a bright, cloudless day, she began to feel a tremble in the ground and sensed the change in the atmosphere, signaling that their ride back to Homeworld was finally making its approach. She sat up and watched as her fellow workers were lining up to enter the vast ship upon its landing. 

Bismuth lined up with her group, but found herself at a standstill. As soon as the ship touched the ground, she immediately felt a strong sense of hesitation and reluctance in taking another step forward. Her group proceeded to load up while she, at the back of the line, could not bring herself to follow behind them. 

“Hey, come on,” shouted the last of her fellow workers to enter the ship, “What are you waiting for? We gotta go!”

Bismuth stood, hesitantly, for a moment, before quickly forming her best excuse for the fact that she had suddenly refused to join her fellow workers in returning to a life of eternal mundane construction. 

“Oh, uh… I’ll be right there. I just gotta go do one last scope to make sure we didn’t miss anything.” She began to make her way in the opposite direction of the ship. “Can never be too sure, ya know?”

“She’s lying,” said the Sapphire, passively, from beside the fellow worker.

At that point, Bismuth started sprinting through the open field, as fast as her feet could go.

“I predict she won’t make it far,” said the Sapphire, completely still. “Get her.”

Without the same hesitation shown in their fleeing compatriot, the remaining group of workers ran after the traitorous gem in a disorganized squad. 

As she ran for miles through the tall grass, she found herself losing velocity as her, equally matched, colleagues were gaining on her. Ironically enough, she found her theory about the Pearls had come back to haunt her. There was no way around this, no escape, and no turning back. 

She combed her way through miles and miles of grass, muttering panicked Gem curses between each breath, fighting the urge to just give in and surrender, knowing the Sapphire wouldn’t have sent the group after her if she knew she wouldn’t ultimately be captured. 

It was only a matter of time before they would catch up and Bismuth was falling short of pace as the group was beginning to close in on her. 

Then, in one clumsy move, she tripped and fell flat on her stomach. As she heard the approaching footsteps of her colleagues, she raised her forearms from the ground in defeat, already knowing and accepting the inevitability of her fate. 

The group started to surround her, pointing sharp spheres all over her that were formed from their hands. Suddenly, in the same moment she had lifted herself up off the ground, she felt a hand grab her arm that was not one of her colleagues and was pulled into the embrace of the Rose Quartz rebel who immediately formed a protective bubble around them. The Bismuth workers had attempted to stab into the bubble with their pickaxe hands, but the bubble did not show any signs of damage. 

With a sly grin, the rebel quartz had turned her gaze to Bismuth and said to her, “Are you ready for this?” With one swift gesture from the quartz, spikes began to form from all around the bubble, pushing back the army of Bismuth workers to allow enough room for the bubbled gems to escape. 

“Hold on,” said the quartz before throwing out open palms to the ground, causing the bubble to rise into the air, throwing the two gems far away from the perplexed army of Bismuth workers.

Bismuth screamed the whole way through, until the bubble hit the ground in a huge thud, disappearing in a pop. She groaned as she tried picking herself up.

“Not one of my finest landings,” said the rebel quartz, rubbing at her temple, proceeding to assist in bringing our Bismuth up from the ground. 

“Hello,” greeted the quartz, extending out her hand in a welcoming gesture. “I’m Rose.”

“Bismuth,” she introduced herself as she, reluctantly, returned the gesture.

“That was quite the chase you were running from, back there, Bismuth. It’s a relief I was able to get you out of there before they got you.”

“Yeah…” Bismuth rubbed at her hip, trailing off. “How did you even  _ know  _ I was in trouble? Why did you save  _ me _ ?” Just like that, Bismuth was back to asking her questions that were overlapping each other, more frequently than ever before. Why  _ had  _ the rebel quartz rescued her? She had a hand in the colonization of gems on Earth. She was against everything the rebel gems had been fighting against. Why was  _ she _ , of all other gems worthy enough to be spared? She felt it sinful, alone, just to have so many questions to ask when she should have known better than that, by now. She was so overwhelmed with questions that she could only stick with the two she had asked as she felt her head spinning in befuddlement. 

“Crazy, right?” Rose had responded, running her fingers through her curls. “Just when I started to think it was just us three!”

“Yeah but- … Wait.  _ Three _ ?” Before Bismuth could ask another one of her multiplying questions, she was taken aback by what Rose had said. 

“Garnet is relatively new to the team. Can you believe it? A fusion of two completely different gems! It was more than any of us could imagine.” 

Bismuth’s eyes widened in what she had realized and could not come to believe, herself. “Hold on. You mean to tell me that the Ruby and Sapphire that had fused in Blue Diamond’s  _ court _ ... is with you?!”

Rose nodded with stars in her eyes, in pure elation. 

“And they’re  _ still  _ fused?”

“Yes!” she squealed. “Garnet helped me find you. She saw you running from your fellow working gems, running away from Homeworld! She knew where you were going to be, so I made sure I was going to be there, too, to save you. Us rebel gems gotta stick together, right?”

Bismuth fell to her knees, laughing so hard that tears began forming in her eyes. “I am  _ so  _ shattered.” She continued to laugh, accepting her inevitable fate at this point as she was suddenly reminded of the Sapphire back at the ship who was probably predicting her next move, already. She was officially a rebel gem and there was no turning back. 

“Only if you go back,” said Rose, “but as long as you’re with us, that’s never going to happen.”

Bismuth ceased her laughter and paused for a moment to think, something she had found herself doing as frequently as questioning things. Now, she was questioning everything. 

She stood up to face Rose, having one more question to ask.

“Does this mean I’m one of  _ you  _ guys, now?”

Rose took Bismuth’s hand with both of hers and said, “This means you’re free now; free to be your own gem and make your own choices. You now have the freedom to do all the things  _ you  _ want to do. You will  _ never  _ have to answer to anyone ever again.”

Bismuth couldn’t help but chuckle at what Rose had said. “Now, wouldn’t that be nice? Not having to spend an eternity building spyres and temples and arenas.” She found herself thinking out loud and was stunned after hearing what Rose had then said.

“What do  _ you  _ want to build, Bismuth?”

Suddenly, it had all become clear to her now.  _ This  _ was her chance. This was what was going to change her life for the better. No one had ever asked her what  _ she  _ wanted. She always had to play by the rules and never step out of line, but now the line was broken and she stepped out of it. She was going to build what she wanted from now on...

… and she was going to be a Crystal Gem, doing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon any sloppiness. It usually takes me a bit longer to plot a storyline, but after watching the latest episode of SU Future, I started brainstorming a bunch of theories and headcanons that I couldn't keep in my head and just HAD to get started on it and get it out there as soon as humanly possible!


	2. Personal Bismuth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the present, Bismuth is dropped off at home, though not before she is given some encouraging advice from Steven. When she gets home, however, things take a turn as Bismuth finds herself suddenly and completely uneased...

Eons into the future, after Era 2 rose to prominence and passed, transitioning into the third and final era, Pearl was invited by Steven to enjoy another form of human entertainment known as “rollerskating”. Seeing this as a wonderful opportunity to get back in touch with their new society and overall current reality, she decided to bring along her old Crystal Gem comrade, Bismuth, who was thrilled to finally have this opportunity to get caught up with her favorite Crystal Gem. 

Not much had seemed to change about Pearl in the times passed, except for one thing; she was happier. The Pearl that Bismuth always knew was always very free-spirited, but not in this way of which she was currently observing. The Pearl she was facing now was completely carefree and finally at peace. This made Bismuth begin to feel a certain kind of indescribable elated feeling that Steven could pinpoint just from the look in her eyes as she watched Pearl twirl around the rink. 

“Bismuth, are you here for Pearl?!”

As loud as he had mentioned it, Bismuth felt an instant nervous prickle down the core of her form and immediately silenced him. Then, she knew: there was no hiding it anymore, this feeling she had begun to feel, deep down, for as long as she could remember, a feeling that had managed to resurface after many a millennia that was now stronger than ever before. 

She started to get carried away with confiding in Steven about what was on her mind, unable to contain the blush forming in her cheeks as she continued to gaze on at Pearl. She was still holding herself back, however, in attempts to convince Steven - if not herself - that it was less than it had seemed. When he shifted the subject of conversation away from it, she thought she had done it.

Although, Steven wasn’t convinced, which ultimately turned out for the better because the look in Pearl’s eyes when he got the DJ to play her song had made going out that night all the more worth it. 

It was a night for the books, one of the best she had experienced. She almost didn’t want it to end. 

The drive home was tranquil. Steven and Connie had gone to experience a very human emotion known as “exhaustion” and were mostly quiet throughout the drive to drop off Connie. Bismuth was the next to go, although she had suddenly found herself missing a time when the only home she had to go back to was the one in which Pearl had also resided. 

Bismuth stepped out of the car and began walking toward the direction of her home, but stopped in her tracks when she heard Steven calling out to her and approaching her as Pearl waited, patiently, in the car. 

"I just wanted to thank you again for earlier at the rink,” he said. “I really needed that.”

“Of course,” she responded, jubilantly. “You know I’ve always got your back, Steven!” She nudged his arm. “I wanted to thank you, too, for… you know…” Her words trailed off as she brought her hand, awkwardly, behind her head, fidgeting with her tied-up hair. 

“... inviting you guys out?” Steven finished her sentence, smirking. 

“Yeah,” she responded, laughing awkwardly with rosy cheeks. 

Steven paused, looked back to the car and then back to Bismuth. “Y’know,” he then said, “Since times seemed to have changed with Era 3 and everything, I’m thinking maybe there’s no more reason to hide what  _ really  _ brought you out tonight.”

Bismuth’s eyes widened as she felt her lips part. After falling under the assumption that his part in her, suddenly visible, infatuation over Pearl ended at the rink, she hadn’t expected to hear the words coming from him. She quickly glanced over to Pearl who was sitting in the car on her phone, probably texting one of the many friends she had met with earlier that night. 

“I know I’m digging well into my roots by pulling a “Classic Steven'' and saying this but… If you told Pearl how you really felt, I think she would definitely understand. Ater tonight, especially, I’m starting to learn that it’s better not to hold back what you really want to say to somebody.” 

He smiled a warm smile at her. In many ways, Bismuth felt he was probably right. In many more, however, she knew - in her case at least - it wasn’t that easy. 

“I don’t know, Steven,” she told him. “This isn’t like one of your human interactions. What I’ve got going on is much more complicated than that. Pearl and I go way back, like “thousands of years” way back, and, in a lot of that time, the only “me” she’s ever known… well…” She looked down, then over to Pearl again. “... didn’t have the chance to be there for her when I could have been.” 

Steven bit his lip, looking off to the side. “I know,” he said, “with everything that was happening because of the war and… because of my mom… you never got the chance to show Pearl your true colors…” He looked back up to her at the same time her eyes met his. “... but none of that matters now because this is Era 3 and you’re all free now to be your own gems without anything getting in the way of what you want.”

After everything, even now knowing they weren’t the same person, the one quality she continued to notice about him was how much he sounded just like Rose.

“You’re free now, Bismuth,” he continued, “This is your chance to make it all better… to put the past aside… and look to a brighter future. ”

As much as she hated to think about Rose or Steven’s similarities to her, despite understanding why she had done what she did, it still felt, somewhat, reassuring to hear her words being put to a whole new and better meaning. Somewhat...

Bismuth’s lingering expression of concern had immediately shifted into a warm smile. Though her eyes were still half as convincing, it still seemed to work.

“Tell you what,” she said, beginning to turn back around toward her home, “I just might think about it.” 

Steven smiled as he began to watch her walk away, glad to see he could return the favor in some form or another. As he began to walk back to the car, Bismuth returned to her concerned and melancholic expression, sighing as she made way back toward her home.

Being that the town of Beach City wasn’t vast enough to fit all the uncorrupted gems, Little Homeworld was built on a part of the island close enough to the town, but far enough on an open grassy plain to allow enough space for a full living and teaching environment for all gems that chose to live on Earth. With the help of Bismuth’s excellent construction skills, it was completed and left with extra space for future expansions if and when necessary. 

At night, the town glowed with the candelabras that were stationed in each home to provide light for all gems who chose to stay awake when the sun went down and the stars were out. 

When building Little Homeworld, Steven had encouraged that all gems have their own living space, complete with a living room and bedroom, despite them not needing sleep. Bismuth’s home was located underneath her new and improved Forge. 

Where her previous Forge’s underground elevator led to a testing site used for the infamous Breaking Point, this elevator would lead to her humble abode. 

In one side of her living room, she had a television device, crafted in Homeworld for the recreational use of all gems in Little Homeworld, that sat directly in front of her couch; a blue loveseat.

On the other side of her room, hanging up inside a glass display, was a complete and refined prototype version of what had once been known as “The Upgrade”, but was now known as Pearl’s regularly used gem weapon; her spear. This was the first thing Bismuth saw as she completed her descent. 

With one exhausted sigh, Bismuth removed the white button-down that Pearl had given her to wear and placed it on the coffee table that sat in between the TV and the couch. She brought her gaze back to the weapon that hung up in its display and smiled, reflecting back on old times. 

***

It was a bright sunny day upon the abandoned arena that had once been used for Blue Diamond’s court before it had been compromised. As some time had passed after Bismuth was rescued and the Crystal Gems had begun to grow stronger with each new rebel gem they would recruit, the original three were preparing for the next battle in a practice sparring match as Bismuth watched on from a short distance, observing each move they had made, taking it into account for her very first weapon-molding project that would take place upon her newly-constructed volcanic Forge. 

When Rose had been summoned by one of her recruits to deal with a gem-related issue, Pearl and Garnet had begun practicing dual battles against one another. Pearl brought out her swords and Garnet took a different approach, countering with her fists rather than using a weapon. After seeing how easily Pearl had poofed the other gems smaller than her, Ruby and Sapphire, from within Garnet, refused to feel so helpless again, even when they were fused. 

As Bismuth watched them battle against each other, she was already beginning to envision defense tactics that enemy gems could use for the weapons they were battling with as well as ways to counter those defense tactics with the weapons she was planning to create. She took every move they had made into account and absorbed it. 

Pearl had been taken aback and thrown into the air, trying to dodge a hit from Garnet and countered this move by throwing her two swords directly at her to which Garnet countered that move by catching each sword by their handles. Garnet then threw the swords back with an even greater force which caused Pearl to act quickly and move out of the way as the swords hit a pillar and were shattered from the pressure of the blow. Pearl was impressed by Garnet as she had also been disappointed in herself.

“Guess you gotta switch your moves around,” said Garnet, placidly.

This made Pearl cry out in frustration; for wielding weak weapons, for countering with a weak move, for overall being a Pearl. She threw out a couple of gem curses which caused Bismuth to giggle. 

“I think I see what the issue is,” said Bismuth before approaching Pearl, beginning to explain different ways she could have countered that move. 

“It doesn’t matter what moves I make or  _ how  _ I counter the enemy’s moves,” said Pearl, hysterically. “No weapon I use could  _ ever  _ be strong enough!” She sighed. “Maybe it’s just me… Maybe it’s because I’m just a Pearl.”

“Maybe you just need to use a better weapon,” Garnet suggested, sassily yet compassionately.

This caused Bismuth to ponder for a moment as she had recalled a time when she was on the opposing side, preparing to unleash a game-changing invention that would have flipped the script completely on just how useful Pearls could be.

With a wide grin, Bismuth nearly shouted the words, “I have an idea.”

***

Bismuth had kept the first weapon she would create as a Crystal Gem which would go on to be her inspiration for all the weapons she would go on to mold for each Crystal Gem to complement their personalities and fighting techniques. She had it framed on the display as a reminder of her use to the Crystal Gems and that it wasn’t all bad at the start of things. 

She stared at this once more, remembering this fact, then allowing a slight nostalgic chuckle to escape her. “Times really  _ have  _ changed,” she muttered to herself.

She plopped down on her living room couch and switched the TV on to Gem Cable before removing her hair tie and extending her arms out over the top of the loveseat, settling in for the night. She breathed out one relaxing exhale as Steven’s Little Homeschool commercial played. 

Hours later, she found herself exhausted enough to practice the human ritual known as “sleep” as the TV continued to play the same commercial in between each broadcast of a series run by Blue and Yellow Diamond’s Pearls’. She had remained in the same position she had sat down with, only her head was tossed back as she was drooling and snoring, engaged in deep slumber. 

Usually, Bismuth found it liberating to rest this way, especially after every long, hard-working day. This time, however, she had gone to experience something new while practicing this ritual, something she could have never prepared herself for…

She began to dream.

Since she had never before experienced anything like this before, Bismuth still thought herself to be awake as she was still in her living room, watching the same commercial play on her TV. 

It wasn’t until Steven began to say something different from the usual advertisement that Bismuth’s attention was seized and bewildered.

“... So come on down to Little Homeschool! We have housing. We have weapons… and we have Pearl!”

“What the..” Bismuth leaned in closer to the screen as Pearl came into view. 

Steven continued to advertise Pearl as if she were a marketable product to be sold as Bismuth remained perplexed where she sat. 

“So stop sitting around like a dumb, useless gem and just tell her how you feel!”

Bismuth was taken aback at this statement. It was as if he was speaking directly to her, now.

“Just do it,” he continued. “You know you want to. You’ve wanted to this whole time!”

A look of pure terror washed over her face. He  _ was  _ speaking directly to her.

“Come on, Bismuth,” he said, not faltering his smile or happy telemarketing composure one bit. “Rose isn’t around anymore. She can’t get in the way. Now is your chance to make a move!”

When Pearl began to speak, Bismuth’s form began to shudder all over.

"Sure I may be my own gem now more than ever, but nothing matters in this world if there's no one for me to fight for!"

The Pearl she knew now, the one she saw earlier that night out in the rink, would have never said something like that. Something was clearly not right, but she just couldn’t figure out what, exactly, it was.

Steven and Pearl began overlapping each other’s sentences as they went on to say, “Come on, Bismuth. What are you waiting for? Just do it!” The words repeated themselves a few times over with each sentence.

“Tell her how you feel,” Steven began to shout.

“I’m waiting,” said Pearl, almost seductively. These words began to overlap each other in a repetitive echo as Bismuth brought her palms to her ears, clenching her teeth and squeezing her eyes shut in a massive headache. 

“Stop!” she pleaded, but the words continued to echo through her ears and into her mind. 

Suddenly, she heard a voice coming from behind her, one that had sounded all too familiar.

“I predict you won’t make it far in this endeavor.”

Bismuth turned around to see a Sapphire she had once known, though not the one currently fused with a Ruby. 

Her eyes widened. Her body was stiff. She felt so overwhelmed with fear and anxiety that she felt she could have shattered right then and there.

“I see nothing in your future,” said the Sapphire before gaping her mouth open as a heavy stream of dirt began pouring out of it and filling up the entire room at a rapid pace.

Bismuth struggled to dig herself out of the rising pool of dirt, but it was no use. Within seconds, she had become completely buried underneath it as it filled up the whole of her underground abode.

Suddenly, she bursted awake in heaving panicked breaths, sweat dripping profusely off the entirety of her form. She placed a damp palm upon her dripping forehead and sighed a deep and heavy sigh of relief that the dirt and the Sapphire was gone and the words had stopped echoing. Everything appeared to be back to normal now, like it never really happened. 

She brought her vision back to the TV that was now playing Steven’s commercial in it’s regularly advertised form, once again. As the commercial had ended and switched back to some other late-night broadcast, Bismuth found herself completely and utterly perturbed as she asked herself, “What just happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter and uneventful in terms of the actual Bispearl content you're all itching for, but I'm a perfectionist and more of a novelist when it comes to writing stories and like to lay it out in much broader detail, almost as if I WERE writing a novel. But we're one chapter closer to the slow burn that is Bispearl so stay tuned ;)  
> 


	3. Private Bismuth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bismuth asks Pearl a question...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got some of that Bispearl content you've all been waiting for!

The next morning, Bismuth went to the one human she knew that would be able to help her understand the newest revelation brought upon her from practicing the human ritual of Sleep.

“Eyo, Steven,” she called out to him as she saw him passing through the edge of town to get home, having just conversed with Sapphire about proposing to Connie. 

Steven turned around when he heard his name. “Oh. Hey, Bismuth. How’s it-”

“I need to talk to you about… something.” 

Without hesitation, she pulled him aside and leaned down to his level. 

“Something happened last night during my sleep ritual,” she whispered. “It was like everything was still the same, but different. Nothing made sense and everything was spiraling out of control and I didn’t know how to stop it. This seemed to all happen while I was still asleep. I don’t know how else to explain it but-”

She then paused when she heard his laughter. 

“Bismuth,” he told her in between light chuckles, “You sound like you just had a nightmare.” He then ceased his laughter to ponder for a moment. “Wait,” he said, still smiling. “You’ve never had a dream before?”

She said nothing, only continuing to look at him with a clear look in her eyes that showed she was still being haunted by it. 

His smile faltered as he trailed his vision off to the ground, recalling just how haunting nightmares could be, even if, at most times in his case, they weren’t real.

“Look,” he told her, seriously now, “whatever you saw, it wasn’t real. When you sleep, your mind creates these images projected from your subconscious thoughts that get all mixed up into little movies in your head. Sometimes, those movies are horror movies... but they’re not real.”

“Huh,” Bismuth said in realization. “I didn’t even know I could do that.”

Steven shrugged. “I never really questioned it. I know Amethyst doesn’t usually dream, but I saw Pearl doing it once.” 

“So, Pearl dreams, too? It’s not just me?”

“I mean I only ever saw her do it once. She can, I just don’t think she ever chose to sleep after that.” He let a laugh escape him, recalling the hilarity of Pearl’s one dream. “She dreamed she was with my mom but then my mom turned into my dad. Dreams are normal for anyone that sleeps, I guess... What was _your_ dream about?”

Bismuth was stunned where she stood, then threw out a bout of nervous laughter, saying, “Oh, that’s not important. I just wanted to know what was going on with me, is all.”

“Yeah,” said Steven, “nightmares can usually happen because there could be something stirring around in your mindset that’s eating away at you…” He then paused as he studied Bismuth’s nervous and uneasy expression. He, then, realized he probably had an idea what _her_ nightmare was really about. “Wait,” he said. “Bismuth, was your nightmare about Pearl?!”

Goosebumps trickled throughout her form as she darted her eyes all around. She tried to react quickly before her secrets were revealed to the general public, scoffing at his question before saying aloud, “What? _Pfft._ No way!” 

She then proceeded to grab onto his shoulder, speaking lowly again, saying, “Alright, what if it was?” 

“Is this because of what we were talking about when I dropped you off last night?”

“I don’t think so,” she said, shaking her head. “It could be a whole mixture of things starting with the fact that I even agreed to go out at all last night. I really was just trying to get caught up with Pearl, but… I don’t know... Ever since last night, I’ve been feeling so different. It’s like… seeing Pearl happy made _me_ happy, but a different kind of happy that I couldn’t help feeling every time I-”

She, then, cut herself off when she saw Steven’s big grin and the stars in his eyes. 

“What?” She asked.

“Bismuth!” Steven practically squealed. “You have a crush!”

A heavy blushed instantly formed upon her cheeks. “What?! No, I don’t!”

“I can’t believe I didn’t realize this before,” he said, pacing the ground. “This is so exciting!” Then, with an excited gasp, he blurted, “I wonder what your _fusion_ would look like!”

Before he could get into possible looks or fusion names, Bismuth stopped him, abruptly, placing her hand in front of him to stop his excited pacing. 

“O-kay!” she yelled. “Calm down there, champ. This isn’t Garnet we’re talking about.”

Steven threw another blurt as he questioned, “What if it _is_?”

Bismuth drew back from him and, in a panic, yelled, “What?!”

“I mean don’t get me wrong. Garnet is always gonna be on top in that department, but what you have for Pearl could be so amazing that you two could be happy together forever!”

She raised a brow. “You’ve been talking to Ruby and Sapphire recently, haven’t you?”

“Think about it,” he said, ignoring the question. “Fusion aside, there’s no denying the chemistry that was fluctuating between you two last night. If you guys had more times like that, who _knows_ what could spark from that?”

Bismuth pondered on that for a moment as he continued to speak, considering what he was saying, as crazy as it was sounding. Even so, as much as she was starting to believe it, she knew where she always stood as she always knew the reality of her situation. 

“I don’t know, Steven.” She made her usual move and went to place her hand behind her head. “After all this time, do you really think out of all the gems - and now humans - after Rose, that she would choose me? I literally tried to _shatter_ the love of her life… _and_ her son!”

Bismuth could tell she was on a peak to crossing the line, but the things Steven was telling her began to seem like they were hitting a specific nerve. Steven understood this and wasn’t in any position to feel mad or have any sort of negative emotion, especially not with the proposal he was on his way to prepare for. 

He raised his hand up in a surrender and said, “I get it. With everything that’s happened, you would think that she has just so many options with how popular she’s been getting and it would be so much easier to be with someone who she has absolutely no history with...”

His words started to shatter Bismuth inside until he continued.

“... but I don’t think so. I think what she really needs out of all the people that she’s meeting for the first time, is just that one _gem_ that knows her better than any other human she can hope to meet. So, I think there’s no better time than now to shoot your shot…” He turned as if he was about to leave. “... but that’s all I got to say on that. Anyway I got to go. I have a proposal to prepare for!”

Steven began to frolick his way down the road, humming to himself a tune he was starting to form in his head. Bismuth scoffed, smiling as she shook her head. It all made sense to her, now. He was lovestruck, on his way to propose. She shrugged off this conversation and went back to her Forge.

Bismuth went on with her day, working to forge weapons, something she would never get tired of doing. This went on for hours as the thought of last night and everything that followed after she got home began to make its way out of her mind. 

Then, Pearl entered the room.

“Bismuth! Hi!” said Pearl, waving as she entered. 

And, just like that, all the thoughts and feelings came seeping in again. She wasn't expecting Pearl to show up. For some reason, she had this feeling that everything would have gone back to normal after the night before and Pearl would've been too busy with her lessons to even bother checking up on Bismuth. 

"I just wanted to stop by and check up on you to see how things are going after last night. Hanging out with my human friends was _some_ fun, am I right?" Pearl nudged Bismuth's upper arm with her elbow. 

It was always easy acting normal around her, even knowing how she felt, but for some reason, this time Bismuth found herself stuck with her words and nervous to speak. 

She threw out an awkward laugh. "Yeah. Didn't think I could keep up with everything that was going on, but I seem to be getting the hang of these recreational human activities." 

They both shared a laugh. 

"Oh," said Bismuth, reaching for something in the corner of the room. "I almost forgot." She pulled out the white shirt she had worn just the other night, stretching her arm out toward Pearl as she approached her. "Here's your shirt back." 

Pearl placed her hand over the shirt and politely pushed it back to Bismuth. “Keep it,” she said. “It suits you.” 

Bismuth brought the shirt to her chest and away from Pearl. “Right,” she said, blushing, and threw the shirt over her shoulder. 

With a warm smile, Pearl said, "It was nice catching up with you and all, especially after you were gone for so long. I'm glad you got to enjoy the night with us last night."

“Y-Yeah,” Bismuth responded, stammering nervously. 

With Pearl's kind and endearing smile, Bismuth could hardly stand it any longer. She began to reconsider what Steven said earlier and, taking it all into account, began to form words that were blurted in an act of impulse as Pearl made her way out the door to get back to her lesson.

“W-We should do it again… sometime.”

Pearl stopped at the entrance, her back turned to Bismuth. 

She turned back around. “What was that?”

“I was thinking… you know…” She suddenly found it hard to form the words. “... I had a lot of fun last night while we were doing that… human activity. Do you think… I mean, I don’t know… maybe… you could show me some other things humans do for fun?” 

As nervous as Bismuth had felt asking that, she then learned she had no reason to when she saw the way Pearl’s eyes lit up at the question.

“I would _love_ to!” Pearl said, excitedly. 

Bismuth smiled, hardly able to notice how heavily she was starting to blush. “That’s great!” She mirrored Pearl’s excitement.

“I’ll come back around after today’s lessons,” Pearl said. Then, she was off and Bismuth began to feel her nervousness fade as soon as she heard that.

Hours had passed as Bismuth felt Pearl’s lessons went on much longer than expected. However, after waiting long enough, Pearl eventually showed up to collect her as they walked over from the outskirts of Beach City right to the middle of town. The night hadn’t struck just yet, but it was beginning to show with the flecks of orange in the sky as well as violet clouds. 

Pearl started the venture off by taking Bismuth to a movie. 

Bismuth hadn’t seemed to understand what was going on in the film, but she enjoyed how excited Pearl was to lean over and whisper explanations of every human gesture as if to teach her about human customs while they were trying to be entertained by it as well. Pearl always had a knack for being a teacher and Bismuth admired this about her.

Next, Pearl had taken her to the arcade. Steven had tried to bring her to one of these once, but Bismuth had immediately been banned when she destroyed one of the boxing games with a hard punch, having gotten a little carried away. Luckily, this time, Mr. Smiley wasn’t around to catch them. 

Bismuth didn’t want to be the cause of another game malfunction, so she held back from playing most of the games, until Pearl took her to a skeeball game and insisted she give it a try. 

Bismuth had immediately threw the ball with such force that it sent it flying past the holes, up to the ceiling, where the ball got stuck.

She pursed her lips, feeling humiliated, a feeling that went away when she heard Pearl giggle at this. 

“Here,” said Pearl, taking a ball and placing it in Bismuth’s hand before coming up behind her and placing a hand on her arm and the other upon the elbow of the hand that held the ball. 

Pearl guided Bismuth to send the ball in a lighter throw, making it hit the hole underneath the highest one. Bismuth smiled.

A couple of days passed like this. The night ended pretty early, so Pearl had kept inviting Bismuth to see more after each work day, and then another time again, until, finally, as the sun began to set on another fun day, Pearl took Bismuth to a picnic by the Beach.

“Usually,” said Pearl as she placed a picnic basket down on the blanket they set up by the shore, “I don't like to consume human food. I always found it completely appalling and _utterly_ repulsive...” She found herself shuddering at the thought of it, but then instantly collected herself, speaking normally again. “... but, knowing you had enjoyed food before, I didn’t want to hold you back, so I arranged a couple of snack foods you could enjoy while we sit and enjoy this sunset.”

She pulled out some cheese, crackers, and little slices of genoa salami and placed them in between her and Bismuth who grabbed a piece of salami and popped it in her mouth as she admired the sunset. 

“I started running out of fun things we could do,” Pearl admitted, “So I had to ask Steven and for some reason, he thought this was a good idea.”

Bismuth scoffed, smiling as she shook her head, realizing how cleverly he had set this up for them. 

“I don’t know what’s so entertaining about watching the sun set,” Pearl continued, “but it does appear to be a sight that's beautiful to watch.”

“Yeah,” said Bismuth, not realizing she was looking directly at Pearl in saying this, “it does.”

` Some time passed as they sat to watch the sunset in silence, then Bismuth began cracking some jokes and Pearl began telling funny stories of events that occured in all the time Bismuth was bubbled, another effort in helping her get caught up. Then, Pearl began to throw pieces of crackers to feed the seagulls that had come by, begging for food. 

As the last bit of sunlight was beginning to fade completely, Bismuth found herself blurting out more words of impulse, but something was different about it this time; she was much calmer, doing so. 

“Y’know,” she began to say, “I’ve been having a lot of fun these past few days, doing these human activities with you. Ever since we went skating, I found a new love for it all.” She looked back out to the sea, admiring the last bit of this wonderful day. “I didn’t think I would have so much fun doing human things with another gem, like this.”

Pearl’s grin would have sent Bismuth spiraling with a blush, if she had seen it. 

“I’ve only ever had fun like this with all my human friends but, even then, it’s never been quite like this. I’ve never been able to connect with them the way I can with my gem friends, especially one of my oldest gem friends.”

Bismuth smiled, looking at Pearl as Pearl smiled back at her.

Suddenly, a bunch of seagulls came flying above them, squawking for more tasty treats, breaking the moment they were sharing. 

“Oh, alright already,” said Pearl, crushing up a cracker into pieces and throwing it in the air. Some pieces fell onto the sand beside her and she giggled as she saw two of them fighting over a larger piece. 

As she went to place her hand back where she had it resting before, she found herself having accidentally met that hand with Bismuth’s, causing Bismuth’s form to tingle with uncontrollable butterflies at the touch. 

As if almost naturally, Bismuth immediately began to slide her fingers through the spaces of Pearl’s, nearly intertwining them as they began to overlap each other. 

Then, Pearl noticed the movement and drew her hand back, blushing. 

“Oh,” said Pearl, shyly, “sorry about that.”

Bismuth cleared her throat and made her famous gesture of placing her hand behind her head as she told her, “It’s fine.” 

Something as minor as hand-holding had never seemed to be an issue to them before, but something about the lingering touch made it feel different this time. 

_Why did she hold herself back?_ Bismuth wondered. _Could she be feeling it, too?_

Bismuth decided there was no hiding it anymore. She was about to put that question to the test.

“Pearl,” she began to say, “There’s something I-”

Just then, before another word could be said, Pearl’s phone had begun to ring. 

“It’s Amethyst,” said Pearl, almost surprised when she pulled out her phone from a pocket within her jacket to see the caller ID. 

She answered. 

Bismuth didn’t know what could have possibly caused Amethyst to call right when she was in the middle of making her confession, but by the look in Pearl’s eyes as her face went from surprise to genuine concern, she could tell it wasn’t good.

As the call went on, Pearl had begun to gradually look more concerned as she brought her hand over her mouth. 

“He did _what_?!” She yelled, bringing her palm up to her forehead.

Bismuth observed closely as Pearl began to respond to whatever Amethyst was yelling about over the phone.

“Why would he do that? Doesn’t he know how fragile his father is? … Well he- … But there- ...” and at that point, Pearl began to look to Bismuth who now returned that same look of worry. 

“Alright. We’ll be right there.” Then, Pearl hung up before putting her phone back in her pocket before standing up.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Bismuth found it hard to process the sudden shift of the vibe.

“We have to go,” Pearl replied, leaning down to begin putting away the snacks. “Help me put this all away,” she said, firmly, a sudden furrow in her brows. 

“Pearl,” Bismuth said, finding herself calling Pearl’s name in a much different way now, “what happened?” She spoke bluntly, almost as sternly as Pearl just had to her.

Pearl sighed, bringing her head down. “Steven got into an accident,” she said, looking up to her old friend. “He crashed the van.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So them two new episodes, amiright?? I knew with everything that's happening with Steven outside of Bismuth and Pearl's universe, that I would eventually need to include them somehow into the whole mixture. I already knew something having to do with Steven was going to put their little date to an abrupt halt, and seeing Bismuth at the beginning of 'Fragments' gave me the perfect idea to tie it all together!


	4. Bismuth Over Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Bismuth begins to fix up Greg's van, Steven disappears, so Bismuth suggest everyone split up and do a search...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Running out of puns for these chapter titles lol

Bismuth was at the beachside right by the Gem’s house, trying to help Greg fix his van when the door accidentally broke right off. They both mirrored chagrined looks. 

“Well,” said Bismuth, studying the place where the door broke off, “It’s definitely going to be a hard fix, but it’s certainly nothing I haven’t tackled before.” She popped the door back in its place, tightening it in place with a few screws she pulled out of the tool box. “We should have this baby fixed in no time.” She gave Greg a thumbs up with her best reassuring grin which eased his concern just a bit as he forced a smile. 

Suddenly, she sensed a strong force blow right past her, almost in a flash, as she could feel a sudden gust of wind and hear a certain kind of zip through the air.

“What was that?” asked Bismuth, confused. 

Before anything more could be said or questioned on the matter, Pearl came running out of the house in a panic as she had herself leaned over the balcony with nothing else but her hands to stop her from falling off the edge.

“Steeeeeveeeennn!”

The pair had immediately turned to Pearl in concern. 

“Pearl!” called out Greg. “What happened?”

“Steven’s gone,” she shouted in response, “One moment he was here and the next, it was as if he disappeared in flash!”

 _A flash_ , Bismuth considered.

“Oh no!” Greg panicked, gripping onto his short locks. “What are we gonna do?!”

Bismuth looked down for a moment in pensive thought and then looked back up to Pearl, shouting, “What does Garnet think?”

Right on queue, Garnet walked up from behind Pearl.

“I see countless paths leading to an array of possibilities,” she said, “but there’s no way to tell, for certain, where he could be.” 

She removed her glasses, a gesture only made when a moment was as serious as this one was looking to be. 

“I also don’t see any possibilities of him coming back,” she continued, “at least not any time in the near future.”

Everyone took a moment to process what she was saying. Nobody really knew what to say. Even so, Bismuth knew she needed to be the strong gem for everyone else, so no one would lose hope just yet.

“Well,” she said, breaking the silence, “he couldn’t have gone _too_ far right? Why don’t we split up and search all the possible places he could be.” She clapped her hands together. “Garnet, let’s start with all _your_ possibilities.”

Garnet smiled a hopeful smile, reforming her shades onto her face. 

Soon, they began their search.

They would split in groups of two; Greg went with Amethyst, Bismuth with Pearl, and Garnet, counting as two, alone. 

Bismuth and Pearl started their search by scouring the town of Beach City, going through all the places he once enjoyed which would also be all the places the pair had enjoyed together, just the day before. 

They, suddenly, started to find that going through all the places that had once brought them joy began to have a different feel to it, altogether. The arcade, the movies, the…

As a long day of searching was nearing its end, the two were beginning to cross a familiar path at this familiar time of day that made their illusory hearts start to sink. 

Bismuth paused for a moment, looking off into the horizon as the sun began to set at the same time it had, just the day previous when they had sat on that exact beach with the exact same view. What had once become a beautiful moment of tenderness and bittersweet nostalgia alongside her most admired Crystal Gem, had now shifted into something completely dark and unwanted that did not seem to sit right with her now. 

Bismuth let a sigh escape her before, coming to accept this before continuing back on her path when she saw Pearl at a standstill as well, melancholically looking out at the horizon where she was also recalling a time when things didn’t seem so complicated and they could actually _enjoy_ watching the sun disappear behind the ocean’s horizon. 

Pearl didn’t need to speak for Bismuth to already know what she was thinking: 

_We were just here. We were just here and everything was okay._

With an empathetic look, Bismuth approached Pearl, softly placing her hand on her back in an attempt to lead her away from what was now a dejecting view.

“It’s okay,” said Bismuth. “We’re gonna find him and, soon, everything will go back to normal.” 

Pearl turned and began to walk in the direction she was led, but lingered her melancholic stare out into the horizon before continuing along with her head cast down. 

The second day wasn’t any easier, after spending the entire morning and half of the afternoon continuing their search, they realized they weren’t getting anywhere and knew what had to be done. 

They resorted to contacting the Diamonds, something they were hardly ever found doing. 

Spinel had answered, saying the Diamonds were busy “doing the good deed”, whatever that meant. She then went on to say that none of them had caught any sight of him and, frankly for them, it was starting to get a bit rude. 

The gems realized they weren’t getting anywhere with that conversation and hung up.

At the end of the day, they had all but given up on the search. After going through all of Garnet’s possibilities and looking even further beyond that, they had realized they weren’t getting anywhere with the search and figured that all that there was left to do at this point was to just wait for him to come back, if and when he would. 

So, that’s what they had done. By the third day, Bismuth was back to helping Greg to work on fixing his van in the same spot while Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were to put a pause on their teachings and stay home to wait in case he were to come back. 

As the morning turned into the afternoon, with the sun passing over the sky behind a cloudy day, the process of fixing the van went a little faster than originally expected and all there was really left to do was to tighten a few screws and finish fixing up the engine. 

Greg handled the engine while Bismuth looked all over the van to fix any extra dents that she may have missed. 

“So,” Bismuth said, breaking the ever-growing silence of the entire work day, “what’s the status on Steven?”

“Nothing,” Greg replied in concern, “and I’m starting to get really worried. He’s never disappeared for this long like this.” He placed his hand behind his head, a move that Bismuth understood all too well. “I hope he’s alright.”

Bismuth sighed, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, telling him, “Me, too.” 

As she brought her hand back to her side, she brought her gaze over to the house where her Crystal Gem comrades resided.

“How are _they_ holding up,” she asked him, bobbing her head toward the house. 

“I don’t know,” Greg responded. “They never really keep me updated about anything.”

Bismuth continued to gaze at the house. She could only imagine how worried they must be.

After finishing up on Greg’s van, she decided to go up to the house to check on them before she went back to her Forge to resume on the rest of her work in Little Homeworld.

When she knocked on the door, however, no one had answered so she peeked inside through the window where she saw only a distraught Pearl, sitting on the couch with her face buried in her hands. 

Bismuth bit her lip and, slowly, opened the door, making her presence known by saying the words “Knock, knock,” before walking inside.

Pearl lifted her head from her hands when she heard Bismuth walk in. “Oh,” she said, sniffling and trying to wipe her nose discreetly, “Bismuth, I thought you were out helping Greg fix the van.”

“Yeah,” Bismuth responded, closing the door behind her. “We just finished. I wanted to check up on you and see how you were holding up.”

Bismuth couldn’t tell if it was her words that triggered it, but, once she had said that, Pearl began breaking out in a weeping sob.

“Oh, Bismuth,” cried Pearl as Bismuth quickly made her way to sit beside her. “I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried everything! I even just tried calling him several times but it just went straight to voicemail so I left him all of these text messages, hoping he’ll respond soon, but..” She paused, taking panicked breaths, beginning to tear up again.

Bismuth took her seat beside Pearl. “Where are the others?” she asked. 

“They-” Pearl sniffled. “They went back out looking for him. They just couldn’t bear to sit around and wait for him; none of us can! Garnet’s future vision is all over the place and she’s so confused, she isn’t quite sure _where_ to look! She was so overwhelmed by it all that she almost came undone! So, Amethyst went with her to help. I wanted to stay here in case he comes back, but..” Her tears started to get the better of her again. “... what if he _doesn’t_ come back?!”

In a compassionate gesture, Bismuth wrapped her arm around Pearl’s shoulders, placing her hand on the shoulder opposite from her before rubbing her thumb over it in an attempt to comfort her. 

“It’s going to be alright,” she said, reassuringly. “He’ll be back, soon enough. You’ll see. It’s Steven. He wouldn’t leave you guys like that if he had no intention of coming back.”

Pearl sniffled one more time, laying her head just underneath her chin, onto her chest. Bismuth, genuinely concerned for Pearl’s well-being, hadn’t found herself blushing this time. 

“I don’t know what’s going on with him,” said Pearl, softly. “He said he wanted space, but…” As the waterworks made their way out of her again, Pearl ended up burying her face in Bismuth's chest, continuing with, “... why would he run off like that?”

As Pearl began to cry some more, Bismuth moved her hand from Pearl’s shoulder to her back, rubbing up and down, whispering a couple, “There, there”s and “Don’t cry”s here and there.

“If he said he wanted some space,” Bismuth said after giving Pearl a moment to calm down, “then maybe that’s just what he needs, right now.”

Pearl turned her head to expose her face from Bismuth’s chest as she sniffled once more. “You’re right,” she said before pulling herself back up to sit straight, placing her hands on her lap, taking in a deep breath and exhaling it in one big sigh. 

She wiped a stray tear from the side of her eye. “I should probably get back to my lessons, either way. The student gems don’t deserve to have their lessons put to a halt with a matter that doesn’t concern them.”

In an impulsive move, Bismuth grabbed Pearl’s hand and told her, “If it concerns _you_ , it _does_ matter.”

Pearl’s look of distraught turned into a smile as Bismuth continued.

“I’ll go back and tell your students that you had to take some time off to go and deal with a ‘personal issue’ and to make up for it, I can bring them over to the Forge tomorrow and keep them preoccupied with _my_ own lessons. 

Pearl tittered. “ _Your_ own lessons?”

“Yeah,” Bismuth replied, ecstatically. “I think you could use the distraction. Besides, I’ve been looking to put something together to change things up a little bit at the Forge. I love building weapons and demonstrating how it’s done to some interested gems that happen to come by and catch it, but I think it’s time to do something more with that and maybe get into some _real_ lessons and I can test it out by bringing your students to the Forge, with you as my teaching assistant! I can hire Yellow’s Pearl to be a model for a suit of armor to start. Armor’s easier and less dangerous than working with swords, so I’m sure that’ll make your student’s a little more comfortable. I’ve actually been wanting to do something like this for ages now. I just wasn’t sure if I was ready, but no better time than the present to get Bismuth started am I right?” 

Bismuth winked at Pearl which caused her to laugh a little more. 

“Thank you, Bismuth.” Pearl told her. 

“Hey,” Bismuth responded cheerfully, trying to keep the mood lifted. “You know I’ve always got you, no matter what, Pearl.”

She went in for a hug. Pearl hugged her back in a tight squeeze, exhaling a sigh of relief and ease.

“In the meantime,” Bismuth continued, breaking the hug, taking hold of Pearl’s hands in her own. “I can stay for a little bit and keep you company until the others get back. I know the last thing you want in a time like this is to be alone.”

“Of course,” said Pearl, looking down at their hands and bringing her own to wrap around herself, awkwardly. “They shouldn’t be much longer. There’s only so many places they can look at this point.”

“I don’t mind,” said Bismuth with an endearing smile. 

Pearl smiled back, but her eyes still showed concern. She laid her head back on Bismuth’s chest in a contradicting gesture to the one that she just made when she pulled her hands away. This confused Bismuth, causing her thoughts to spiral around her mind once again, but she ignored it for now as Pearl allowed her to be wrapped in her comforting embrace while they laid back together in tranquil silence as they were, ironically, calmed by the thunderstorm brewing outside.

***

“MY ANVIL! MY BEAUTIFUL ANVIL!”

Bismuth had fallen to her knees, burying her face in her hands, after witnessing one of her most prized possessions destroyed. This anvil had been with her since the very beginning of her time with the Crystal Gems. She had molded it herself and brought it over from her old volcanic Forge, hoping to keep the memories intact by bringing it with her to Little Homeworld. Plus, nothing could compare to it. It had assisted her to make remarkable gem weapons. She couldn’t think of a better anvil to mold with. 

It meant as much to her as The Upgrade that hung in its display downstairs… and now it was gone. 

After Steven had zoomed off in an awkward rush, with her hands still on Bismuth’s shoulders to keep her grounded, Pearl looked over to the rest of the class.

“Alright, everyone,” she said. “Class dismissed.”

The rest of the class dispersed except for Snowflake, who was hesitant to leave in concern for her friend. 

“Now, Snowflake,” Pearl said, sternly. “I’ll let you know when we can continue this lesson.”

Snowflake followed her classmates outside as Bismuth removed her hands from her face, looking down at her broken anvil, dishearteningly. 

“I am _so_ sorry about this, Bismuth,” said Pearl, kneeling herself down to her level. “He said he was fine and that we had nothing to worry about, but I _knew_ I should have trusted my gut on this. Oh, your anvil. Bismuth...” 

As reassured as she felt by Pearl’s comfort, Bismuth felt too unstable from grief to have her around at this time. She needed time to be alone... and Steven needed the opposite. 

She grabbed Pearl by the shoulder, still looking down at her anvil.

“That boy is clearly _not_ fine,” she told her. “Go.”

“Bism-”

A sudden thundering boom was heard from outside. The pair could hear buildings collapsing and glass shattering, more of Bismuth’s work torn asunder as Steven’s voice rang through their ears.

“ _Go_ !” shouted Bismuth, nearly shoving Pearl away when she let go of her. “Go get him, Pearl. Steven needs you and he needs the others right now. Go. I’ll stay and get this mess cleaned up.” She stood up to look at the wreckage outside. “ _All_ of it.”

Pearl tightened her lips and clenched her fists. “I’ll come back to check on you.”

“Don’t worry about me.” Bismuth turned her head to Pearl, saying something that had ultimately contradicted what she was keeping Pearl from thinking just the day before. “Worry about Steven.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That finale, amiright guys? Too much too process in just one night of three MAJOR episodes. Can't seem to get caught up. As you can tell, I'm about a chapter behind as far as getting caught up with the events of the show, but it's all good. Not like the story's gonna end there. Bismuth and Pearl's story still has a LOT to unpack, so stay tuned for next week's chapter!!
> 
> Also, I know Yellow Pearl decided to become a model and probably the real reason why the show decided to use her to model the armor was to showcase on that a little more, but I am still 1000% WITH the headcanon that Bismuth chose wedding armor in the event that she would consider proposing to a certain Pearl at some point *wink wink*


	5. Mind Your Bismuth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After saving Steven from corruption, Bismuth and Pearl decide to have a re-do on their fun little ventures, but when their ventures lead them back to the temple, Bismuth finds that she can't avoid the inevitable...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for those who have yet to see the finale!... but I think we're past that now.

Bismuth showed up with Peridot and Lapis Lazuli after seeing a giant monster terrorize all of Beach City only to find out the monster was Steven. In order for him to go back to normal, everyone had to come together and show him enough love for him to see he was not alone and didn’t have to be the monster he had become. This worked and everything was fine again. 

Several days later, Bismuth was at her Forge, teaching her first official class. She took this opportunity to teach her students how to carve their very own anvil as she had demonstrated by making a new one for herself to replace the one that was destroyed.

It was probably the most exciting thing to happen to her since creating her new Forge in Little Homeworld, but she still found that nothing would excite her as much as the heroism she and all her companions had for Steven that day. 

Something about the whole thing sat with her and wouldn’t leave her mindscape. Once again, love was what had won; love was what had saved him. For once, Bismuth began to wonder if love could save her, too.

Then, after a long work day added on with her first official lesson, _she_ walked in; Pearl, in all her glory and radiance, smiling her warm and tender smile that could now make Bismuth melt if her form was capable of doing so. There she was, right on schedule, the very minute Bismuth dismissed her class, ready to do it all over again with her old friend.

To make up for the time lost in trying to be there for Steven as well as what searching for him that day had made them come to feel about all the places they revisited, the pair had made arrangements to give their previous ventures a little redo. Steven, himself, had told Pearl he wanted to make up for it by setting everything up for them to which Bismuth already knew, if she knew one thing, that, in doing so, it was going to possibly give her a jumpstart to taking things to the next level. 

They restarted their ventures through all the fun human activities, mixing it up a little by adding a couple of places here and there and extending their time on the beach by walking down the shoreline together as the sun began to set beside them. 

Nothing else they did that day could compare to the serene joy of walking down the shoreline as the waves washed up to kiss their feet. Bismuth felt like she could talk for hours with Pearl and never get bored of their conversations. 

“... and then I just told him, ‘Hey, that’s none of _my_ Bismuth’.” 

Bismuth cracked another one of her puns which caused them both to laugh. Then, she caught sight of Pearl and how beautiful she looked when she laughed and suddenly found herself stunned where she stood, pausing in her tracks as her stare began to linger on Pearl.

“What?” Pearl questioned, but Bismuth found herself speechless as she saw how the light from the sun rays reflected off of Pearl’s sparkling eyes and the gleam of her gem. 

Bismuth, quickly reacted and snapped herself out of it, shaking her head before finally responding, “Oh, uh… nothing… You just uh…” She tried to find the words without sounding too forward. “... You look nice today.” 

“Oh,” Pearl said, a smile forming on her face. “Thank you. So do you.” 

Bismuth, awkwardly, began to form a laugh, finding it to be her default mode of response. The pair continued to walk down the shoreline, locked in silence until Pearl broke it by finding a new topic to discuss to which Bismuth was happy to engage in. 

They walked a little while longer down the shoreline until the sun disappeared behind the horizon and the remaining light of day followed it. 

Ultimately, their conversation had brought them back to the Crystal Temple, otherwise known as the gem’s home. The pair found that they didn’t want their conversation to end at the beach so they agreed to keep it going while Bismuth walked Pearl home. 

They finally had made it to the front door, laughing together at more funny stories and inside jokes as Pearl invited Bismuth inside. 

Their laughter ceased as soon as they saw Garnet sitting, placidly, on the couch, staring straight ahead before turning her head to look at them. 

“Oh,” said Pearl, appearing surprised to see her. “Garnet. Hi. I didn’t expect to see you home so soon.”

There was something about Garnet’s presence that threw Bismuth and something about her look as well, even though it was just her regular resting facial expression. Bismuth couldn’t help but sense something different about her. This wasn’t one of her usual looks. 

“I thought you’d be at one of your monthly evening seminars,” Pearl continued. “Isn’t it a full moon tonight?” 

“I thought you’d be at one of your daily lessons today,” Garnet retorted, passively. She, then, turned her head to look at Bismuth which - even with her visor on - looked as if she was staring into her soul. Bismuth was frozen in place. 

“Oh.. um…” Pearl locked her hands together, clearing her throat. “I took the day off, today. Steven said he was happy to cover for me.”

There was a gem-chilling silence that filled the room as soon as she had said that. Looking back on it now, especially with Garnet’s lack of response, Bismuth could tell there was an obvious realization in that fact that Garnet didn’t need to say aloud to make it apparent: _Did you really think that was a good idea, especially with how things went not even a week ago?_

“H-He insisted,” Pearl stuttered. “I had Amethyst keep an eye on him.”

As nervous in her defense as Pearl had seemed, she knew she had no reason to be. She could see it in Garnet’s face that she understood. Bismuth, however, had continued to see something different in her facial expression, even as calm as she had looked when Pearl finished speaking. She could tell it had something more to do than just letting Steven take over for her lessons. 

“I _also_ took the day off,” Garnet responded. “There was a cancellation today.” She didn’t elaborate on this. She just shrugged before standing up. “Better luck next month, I guess.” 

Garnet, then, smiled a smile that didn’t seem all too convincing for Bismuth, but worked enough for Pearl who smiled back at her with ease.

“Anyway,” Garnet continued, beginning to back away toward the temple, “I’m just going to move the relaxation to my room. I’ll see you guys later.” 

“O...kay,” Bismuth, awkwardly, muttered from under her breath as she watched Garnet disappear behind the temple door into her room. 

Pearl seemed unfazed by it all, not commenting on it as she nudged Bismuth’s arm.

“Come on,” said Pearl, grabbing onto Bismuth’s hand, “I have something I want to show you.” 

As Pearl pulled Bismuth away, leading her into her room, the only thing Bismuth could find herself to say was another, “Okay,” followed by a bout of laughter. 

The door had closed behind them as Pearl released Bismuth’s hand to place one hand of her shoulder and the other on her chest. 

“Wait here,” she told her, then proceeded to walk away from the platform and into the water, having immediately and quickly sunk beneath it. 

Bismuth gasped, reaching her arm out in concern, not realizing this was part of what Pearl had in store. 

Then, Pearl reappeared as she rose from one of the many cylindrical pools that protruded from the water in a dense waterfall. 

There were stars in Bismuth’s eyes as Pearl performed a short ballet that appeared to make a row of swords rise up from the water from all around her. She reached in front of her and pulled out a particular sword from the bunch. Right as she had done that, the remaining swords plunged straight back into the water before she, herself, dropped along with them in the exact same fashion. 

It took her a moment before she reappeared again. Out of curiosity, Bismuth leaned over the edge to see if she could spot Pearl from within the water. Then, in an instant, Pearl appeared out of the water right before Bismuth, causing her to back away in a startle. 

Pearl approached Bismuth with the sword in her hands. 

“I wanted to thank you,” she said, “for being there for me the other day.” 

She held the sword out to Bismuth and said, “I wanted to give you this.” 

Bismuth took the sword in her own hands. She studied it for a moment as she began to recall where she recognized its design from. 

“Do you remember where it’s from?” Pearl asked.

Bismuth slightly pulled the sword out of its scabbard as she replied, almost in a mumble, “How could I forget?”

How _could_ she forget? She could still remember the day she had crafted the sword. Not for Pearl, but for another Crystal Gem recruit in a historic battleground that had now become a vast strawberry field. After the gem warrior she made it for got poofed by an enemy gem, Pearl got knocked over by that same enemy gem who had also gone to gain the upperhand over Rose, almost shattering her until Pearl saw that very sword and swooped in at the last second to save her. Rose had been so grateful she swooped Pearl off her feet in an enormous hug, causing them to fuse into Rainbow Quartz who ended up being the one to drive the opposing army away while everyone else cheered them on, fighting alongside them. 

Of course Bismuth remembered it. Pearl wouldn’t stop talking about it. The entire rebellion even gathered up to throw a huge celebration for Pearl’s heroism and Rainbow Quartz’s appearance. Bismuth even had her fair share of praise as well for crafting the weapon that had been used to save Rose. 

Rose, Rose, Rose. Always Rose. Another physical reminder that she really didn’t need. She could see how Pearl would have thought it would make her happy, but what Pearl didn’t know was why it really didn’t. 

Still, Bismuth threw on her best smile as she pushed the sword back into its scabbard.

“This sword means a lot to me,” said Pearl. “I want you to have it.” 

Bismuth stared at the sword for a moment, then looked back up to Pearl, saying, “Thank you. I have the perfect place for it in the Forge.” 

The house was dark as Bismuth left Pearl’s room. As soon as the door to Pearl’s room had closed behind her with Pearl still in her room, Bismuth looked back down at the sword that she held up in her hands, once again, and released a heavy sigh before taking a step up onto the warp pad that would take her home. 

“Leaving so soon?”

Before she even had a chance to fully step up onto the warp pad, Bismuth turned around to see Garnet leaning against the wall right by the temple door with crossed arms. 

“Hey, Garnet,” said Bismuth, as casually as she could in a situation where she had to wonder just how long Garnet was waiting there for her. “Yeah, I figured it’s pretty late already, you know...” She turned to step up onto the warp pad, but was stopped once again.

“Not so fast,” said Garnet. 

Bismuth bit her lip, letting out a deep exhale through her nose before turning around again to face Garnet. 

“Look,” said Bismuth, seriously this time, “If this is about Pearl letting Steven-”

“It’s not,” Garnet interrupted. 

“O-kay,” said Bismuth, confused. “So then-”

“I understand you’ve been spending a lot of time with Pearl, lately.” Garnet adjusted her visor on her head before standing straight.

“Well... Yeah, but what does that have to do with-”

“As much as I love seeing the both of you happy at this time, I am strongly advising against that.”

Bismuth was taken aback by this, left to wonder why this had suddenly become such an issue and to Garnet of all people. Regardless, she wasn’t taking this from her and decided not to let it get to her as she denied this statement. “Classic Garnet,” she said with a casual smile, “always one to let off a joke at the most unexpected time.” She turned back to the warp pad but was stopped again.

“It’s not a joke, Bismuth.”

Bismuth’s eyes formed into that of a concerned look as she felt her heart begin to sink. Why was Garnet saying all of this? What was Garnet so against?

She found a ball of fire beginning to form within her as she turned back around to Garnet.

“Pearl may be coming into her own, especially now, but you have to understand that her emotions are still very fragile, especially with everything that’s happened with Steven, recently.”

The ball of fire grew to the size of the Sun and Bismuth could no longer contain it. In a fit of rage, she blurted, “This is because of what I did to Rose, isn’t it? _And_ to Steven? I know he told you guys everything. You really think I’d hurt her that way? You think I haven’t learned from my mistakes?”

“This isn’t about you.” 

With that, the fire inside Bismuth began to fade as she stood there, bewildered. “What?” She questioned. “Then what’s so wrong with…” Bismuth found herself unable to finish her sentence as she looked back down to the sword in a realization. 

“My future vision,” Garnet began, beginning to approach Bismuth, “It’s a blessing as much as it is a curse. I can see all the possible results of an event or situation and come to a conclusion, based on those possibilities and the percentage of the positive and negative results alike, to determine which path is the best to go down.” 

The sword nearly fell out of Bismuth’s hands as she dropped her arms to her sides and lowered her head in defeat, already knowing what Garnet was going to say next. 

“The future I see for you and Pearl, based on the paths that are laid out for your timeline, it’s... not good… and I’ve tried to ignore it, especially after realizing that anything can happen that could change this future, but... I just couldn’t help myself.”

Garnet placed both her hands on each of Bismuth’s shoulders.

Bismuth was quick to deny as she said, “What are you saying, that I’m looking to take things to _that_ level with Pearl?” She blew a raspberry at this. “Come on. Pearl is-” 

“You really think you can lie to me of all people?” said Garnet, cutting her off. 

Bismuth opened her mouth, about to throw another denial in defense to her case, but she knew, of anyone else, she couldn’t lie to Garnet, not with the Sapphire that lay within her.

“I’m not saying this to offend you,” said Garnet, “but I know Pearl better. I’ve seen her when she thought she lost you and I’ve seen her when she _knew_ she lost Rose. I’ve seen her at her worst, trying to _deal_ with the loss of Rose. I’ve seen her in the aftermath, even years after she was gone. It’s been hard for her as I’m sure it still is. Engaging in this relationship with you, wherever you _think_ it may lead… It’s not going to turn out so well… for _either_ of you.”

Bismuth remained speechless, sensing an ancient familiarity in Garnet’s tone of voice, like she couldn’t have said it any better if she were a Bismuth, speaking from a Sapphire’s passed-on message in a timeline before Rose ever came into the picture. 

“I’m warning you as a colleague…” Garnet removed her visor to show a look of concern in her eyes that no longer matched Bismuth's current grievous expression. “... and as a friend: You need to quit while you’re ahead, before things go too far and you both find yourselves in a place where you can’t turn back from what you’ve come to feel and how it affects how you see each other.” Garnet squeezed at Bismuth’s shoulders as she had her eyes locked onto Bismuth’s. “Do it to save yourselves the hurt that’ll surely come if you don’t.”

Bismuth stared back at Garnet for a moment, lingering the stare before she brushed her hands off of her shoulders. She said nothing. She wouldn’t give Garnet the satisfaction of a reassuring confirmation in response. She just walked back up to the warp to make the grand escape in avoiding the inevitable like she had been trying to do even before Garnet appeared. 

“I wish things could be different,” said Garnet as Bismuth paused atop the warp pad to listen. “I’m only doing this to protect you.”

“I know,” replied Bismuth, finding it all to be what she could say before she warped away into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do quite a bit of research for this one. Garnet's character is harder to write than originally expected.


	6. Risky Bismuth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bismuth takes Garnet's words into account and tries to avoid Pearl as much as she can, but when Pearl comes by after a long work day, Bismuth begins to find it harder and harder to stay away.

Bismuth had taken what Garnet said to heart and deep consideration as she proceeded to avoid Pearl as much as she possibly could in the small space of Little Homeworld where they had worked close together. She found it just as hard to stop thinking so often of her as she did just to keep her away. 

Now and then, in between lessons, Pearl would stop by to begin engaging in small talk as they normally had begun to do with each break they took before they went back to work. This particular day, however, Bismuth had to continuously try and convince Pearl that she was too busy to chat. It wasn’t until the third time Pearl came around that Bismuth had begun to realize just how much time they  _ had  _ been spending together, lately. 

Then, at the end of the work day, Pearl came by once more. This time, Bismuth’s excuses had run their course. 

“Knock, knock,” Pearl said as she entered halfway into the room, knocking at the wall beside her.

“Oh,” said Bismuth, not knowing what more she could say other than, “Hey, Pearl.”

“So,” Pearl went on, approaching Bismuth, “Now that you don’t seem to be busy anymore, I was thinking there’s one more place I’d like to show you.”

Bismuth opened her mouth as if to say something, but all that came out was a despondent sigh.   
She tried again.

“I don’t know, Pearl.” She made her famous hand-behind-the-head gesture. 

“Oh, come on,” said Pearl, nudging Bismuth in the arm with her elbow. “It’ll be fun. What are you so afraid of, anyway?” She teased.

Bismuth, more than anything, wanted to just say it. She wanted to just blurt it out like word vomit, something along the lines of: “I don’t know, Pearl. Why don’t you ask Garnet? She seems to see  _ so  _ many terrible paths ahead for us if we keep this going that were just  _ so  _ bad that she felt so inclined to let me know about it, but not you for some reason, like it’s  _ my  _ job to make sure none of those terrible possibilities come true.” You know, something along the lines of that. 

She couldn’t, however. She knew there must have been some reason why Garnet wouldn’t tell her and so she knew she had to keep it to herself… 

… but what else was she supposed to say?

“Well...” she hesitated, but still tried to find the strength to form the words, speaking through clenched teeth. “Don’t you think, maybe, we’ve been… hanging out a little…  _ too  _ much?” She found each word hard to speak. She didn’t want to question it. Maybe they  _ were  _ hanging out more than they were doing much else. Maybe they  _ were  _ seeing a lot of each other. Even so, she didn’t mind and, by the looks of it, neither did Pearl...

… but she had to remember what Garnet said; this was all for the best. 

“What do you mean?” Pearl questioned with a laugh of absurdity she could barely stifle. “We were just making up for lost time, or time that was lost to  _ us  _ for that matter… and...” She moved closer to Bismuth, grabbing onto her hand in a sincere gesture. “… I’ve been having fun getting to catch up with you.” 

There was no way Bismuth could bring herself to keep denying her after that, especially in seeing the genuine sentimental smile that had formed on Pearl’s face. It had finally been confirmed that Pearl was indeed having as much fun catching up as she was and it had seemed that they were growing closer together as a result. Even though Bismuth knew she had to find some excuse, as terrible as it may have been, she simply couldn’t muster a scenario or imagine a timeline where she  _ could  _ deny Pearl  _ or  _ herself another opportunity not only to catch up, but grow even closer as a result. Whatever this feeling was that Steven had put a name to - crush or no crush - she couldn’t help but want to continue making up for lost time with Pearl, despite what Garnet had told her.

“Alright,” Bismuth said, with a smile, “What did you want to show me?” 

Pearl escorted Bismuth to the nearest warp pad which then had led them to another disclosed location of several smaller warp pads surrounding a much larger one that lay in the center atop some kind of plateau. 

It was then that Bismuth had realized: what Pearl had to show her was not anything man-made. 

They hopped onto one of the smaller warp pads and Bismuth found that they had arrived at the bottom of what she recognized to be a vast arena… 

… an arena she had helped construct. 

It was typical for a Bismuth to always know their creation. Like a fingerprint, it is something they can separate from any other Bismuth’s design… and her fingerprints were scattered all over the place. 

“Is this…” Bismuth began to question as she proceeded to observe her surroundings before fixing her head to look at Pearl who walked ahead of her.

“Where are we?”

“You’ll see,” Pearl replied, vaguely, as she continued to walk on. 

They walked to the end of the room where there stood an elevator that would shoot them up all the way to the top of the building. As they ascended, Bismuth had begun to notice, through the clear elevator doors, just how worn down and decayed everything appeared to be, like no one had been there in centuries.

Pearl remained quiet throughout the ride up. Bismuth was filled with anxiety from the suspense and anticipation. 

Finally, they had reached the top of the abandoned arena. Bismuth could see the amber sky through the glass. They made it.

The elevator doors opened and they exited into an open rooftop area, occupied with nothing but pillars that stood surrounding the edge…

… and a long rug leading to a single gigantic blue palanquin. 

“No way…” Bismuth muttered as she began to realize where exactly Pearl had taken her. “No way!” 

She turned to face Pearl as excitement flushed over her face. Pearl grinned right back at her.

“I knew you’d be excited to be here,” said Pearl, still smiling. 

“I just- I… I can’t believe it. It’s still here!” Bismuth stretched out her arms before her, gesturing to the entirety of the arena. “It’s all still here!”

Bismuth had felt the wave of nostalgia flush over her as she approached the abandoned palanquin. 

“Blue Diamond’s court,” she muttered as she caressed the light blue curtains. She, suddenly, broke out into a laugh as she yelled, “I remember how big a deal this was when me and the rest of my old crew heard how Garnet formed up here for the first time.” She began to walk inside the palanquin. “Blue Diamond was so shook, she couldn’t maneuver  _ this  _ old hunk of junk,” she approached the throne inside the palanquin, “So she had to ride with one of her lesser elites in their ship to run back to Homeworld and cry to the other Diamonds about it.” She laughed some more as she climbed up to get comfortable and take her seat in the colossal throne. “She didn’t even know what  _ hit  _ her, that day.”

Pearl giggled as she caught up with Bismuth at the palanquin. “Garnet had said she could see right through Blue Diamond’s formal and powerful guise. You were so thrilled to meet Garnet after she told you her story that we ended up just bringing you here to see for yourself.” She eyed the entire perimeter of the rooftop. “I still can’t believe they had just abandoned this place like that, after all the work that was put in just to build it.”

Bismuth smiled at Pearl, adoringly. She had always admired how Pearl held a sense of respect and appreciation for the construction of various places and buildings, almost in the same way that Bismuth had a kind of appreciation for a Pearl that could fight for herself and not have to take orders from anyone.

Bismuth nodded in response to Pearl before peeking up at the sky through the curtains. She hopped down from the throne and walked outside the palanquin, still looking up and watching as the amber skies began to turn violet.

“Remember when we used to come up here just to look at the stars?” Bismuth asked, casting her vision back down to Pearl who stood before her.

Pearl looked up at the sky, smiling. “Of course,” she said. “We couldn’t get a better view anywhere else as we did from up here.” 

Bismuth held out her hand to Pearl who stayed smiling as she took it without hesitation. Sometimes, it was okay to hold hands… Sometimes…

Bismuth took Pearl over near the edge where they could get a good view of the sun setting behind the horizon of the beautiful landscape of open grassy plains and mountains. 

Pearl went to sit as she let go of Bismuth’s hand, but her foot slipped off the edge and she began to fall off the edge until Bismuth caught her hand.

“Careful, there,” said Bismuth as she pulled Pearl back from the edge. “We don’t want to end up like Ruby and Sapphire now and fall thousands of feet off the edge.”

She helped Pearl take her seat as she found her own seat next to her.

“Ah,” Pearl said, classy, “but what better a place to land than on Earth.”

They shared a laugh.

Then, in an effort to get comfortable, Bismuth tried placing her hands on the ground beside her to be able to hold her weight up as she leaned back to enjoy the sunset. As she did this, however, she found that her hand had accidentally landed right upon Pearl’s own hand who had attempted to hold her weight up in the same way. 

Bismuth felt spikes trickle up the back of her form and down into her fingertips. “Oh,” she said as she pulled her hand away, suddenly remembering that day at the beach. “Sorry about that.” She then took that hand and began to place it behind her head until she felt Pearl’s hand on her arm. 

Pearl lightly tugged Bismuth’s arm away from behind her and back toward her as she said, “It’s okay.” 

For the first time in what felt like a while, Bismuth felt a blush form over her cheeks as Pearl moved her hand up Bismuth’s arm to take her hand. 

A hundred thoughts came rushing in at once, thoughts that formed into even more questions. Pearl probably didn’t think much of it or maybe she did and that’s why she had done it. There were many ways to try and rationalize it but Bismuth found that the reality of it was that she had no idea how to feel about it. Sometimes it was okay to hold hands… Sometimes… 

Pearl turned her head to look back at the sunset. Bismuth lingered her gaze onto Pearl, then smiled before doing the same.

Hours later, after the sun had set and the stars filled the sky, the pair were now laying on their backs, staring up into the sky and getting lost in their reminiscent conversations as their legs continued to dangle off the edge and their hands were in different places now. Bismuth’s arm was behind her head with her head resting on her forearm as Pearl had her hands held together with intertwined fingers placed formally over her stomach.

They were laughing together, once again, as Pearl was wrapping up a conversation she had started about a time when she once wanted to show Steven the wonders of the cosmos and the many worlds that lie beyond the stars. 

“It’s funny,” she said. “I used to just  _ dread  _ the inevitability of being trapped here on Earth, unable to enjoy the freedom I had, with the Galaxy Warp destroyed and absolutely no mode of transportation to other galaxies or  _ anywhere  _ off-planet…” She paused, looking down at her hands that were placed over her stomach as she found herself fidgeting with the tips of her fingers. “... but… now that it’s Era 3 and the Galaxy Warp is fixed and I finally  _ do _ have the ability to go back out to explore the cosmos, it… well, it seems that I no longer have much interest in going anywhere else anymore and all I’m looking forward to now is staying here, on Earth.”

“Well,” Bismuth began to respond, “at least the option is there, now.” She turned her head from the night sky to look at Pearl. “Now, you get to  _ really  _ be the free gem that you always were and  _ enjoy  _ that freedom! You can go wherever you want and do whatever you want to do and you don’t have to answer to  _ anyone  _ who questions it  _ or  _ questions you.” 

These were things that Bismuth had always admired about Pearl and now, it had become clear as day for Pearl herself to hear. She wasn’t the same Pearl as she was only just a couple of years ago. She was different now and she was different because she was now free to be her full self and her best self and finally be happy with that. There was no longer a need to question her abilities or strength, especially when there was no longer a war to fight. Even so, he knew she was more than capable of fighting her own battles and never had to ask for permission. Now, more than ever, she was Pearl and now, more than ever, Bismuth adored her. 

Pearl had turned to look at Bismuth as she listened to her response and there was a silence that lingered on after Bismuth had spoken. Pearl’s eyes were locked on Bismuth’s gaze as Bismuth’s was with hers.

Then, Bismuth considered something extremely impulsive. 

***

“So, what’s a wedding?”

A couple of years into the past, when Garnet’s wedding was being prepared, a much younger Steven placed his fingers upon his chin, pensively. 

“Well,” he began to reply, “When two people love each other very much and have decided they want to share that love with each other forever, they get married.”

Bismuth raised a brow. “Married, huh?”

Steven nodded. “ _ Mhm _ . When people get married, they usually celebrate by throwing a wedding party where they invite all their friends and family and there’s an altar and cake and presents and then they kiss!”

Bismuth chuckled. “They  _ what _ ?”

“Oh, yeah.” Steven realized just how much of an Earthly ritual kissing was. “After the ‘marriage officiant’ officializes the wedding - in this case, I’d be saying ‘I now pronounce you: Garnet’ - the bride and groom share a kiss and make their marriage official!” 

“Okay,” Bismuth responded, trying to make sense of it all as she pressed two of her fingers to her chin. “And how exactly does this ‘kiss’ officiate the marriage?”

“Well,” Steven said, placing a pensive hand on his cheek, “kissing is how we like to show affection on Earth. People kiss when they love each other and want to show them and often when they can’t find the words to express how the other makes them feel so they show it by pressing their lips together, kinda like this...” He demonstrated a scenario using his hands as puppets that started with a form of dialogue that led into the act of kissing. As funny and cute as any other human would have found it, Bismuth took it as a helpful learning experience. 

“Interesting,” she told him, brushing at her chin with her thumb and index finger. “Very interesting…”

***

Bismuth thought about the way she saw Ruby and Sapphire kiss that day at their wedding. She pondered it for a moment and wondered if he could show Pearl that same kind of affection. She  _ was  _ beginning to have strong feelings toward Pearl and she  _ did  _ feel she was unable to find the words to express this feeling. 

As Bismuth stayed lost in Pearl’s eyes and Pearl lost in hers, she felt her upper body begin to gradually move closer toward Pearl. She couldn’t stop it. She had no control over herself. She just went with it. If she had internal organs, she would have felt her heart pounding from within her as she noticed Pearl had begun to do the same.

Their eyes remained locked onto one another, their mesmerized expressions unchanging as they both inched even closer… and closer…

Bismuth saw that Pearl had begun to close her eyes and followed her in this gesture. 

Then, unexpectedly, instead of feeling the physical contact of Pearl on her lips, Bismuth felt it on her chest. 

She opened her eyes and looked down to see Pearl had stopped the whole thing from happening by a simple touch of Pearl’s hand on her chest.

Bismuth looked back up to Pearl who held an awkward, and somewhat restrained, smile on her face. 

“It’s late,” said Pearl. “We should probably be heading back.”

Now, Bismuth had felt that, if she had internal organs, her heart would have sunk in hearing this. Still, she kept her composure and remained casual. 

“Yeah…” She trailed off, crestfallen. “Y-Yeah, yeah, yes. Of course.” 

Bismuth stood up from the edge of the rooftop and held her hand out, offering to help Pearl up, but she was quick to politely refuse, to which Bismuth just ended up awkwardly blurting, “Right. Free gem. Got it,” before throwing even more awkward finger guns at her. 

Pearl stood up and began walking toward the elevator while Bismuth let her go on ahead, looking back at the palanquin before looking up at the sky full of stars, sighing as she brought her head back down to follow Pearl to the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have this theory that the palanquins the Diamonds use are maneuvered by their mind and it kind of works similar to Steven's powers that if they are too overwhelmed to control it, the whole system goes haywire and starts malfunctioning. I thought I'd find a way to incorporate that here.
> 
> Also, I have no doubts that Bismuth 100% helped build the Cloud Arena as well as most gem-related buildings that were made on Earth before she joined the Crystal Gems.


	7. None of Your Bismuth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet continues to warn Bismuth about the risks of continuing her endeavors with Pearl, but Bismuth begs to differ, realizing how unfair it all is for Pearl. She tries her best to heed Garnet's continuous warnings either way but begins to question if that is more important than Pearl's own happiness.

Bismuth stopped keeping track of how often Pearl would come by anymore. She thought if she just tried to cut it short with every appearance she made, it wouldn’t count as seeing each other too often, at least if Garnet were to spot them together. 

Then, she did. 

It was a few minutes near the end of a short work day as the sun was still blazing through the early afternoon. Bismuth was standing underneath the entranceway of her Forge, arms crossed and leaned to the edge of the entrance as she had begun to laugh at one of Pearl’s quirky remarks. 

It was then that she had caught Garnet at the corner of her eye, sitting on her usual bench, waiting for her clients to arrive for her weekly therapy session. Garnet’s stare pierced through Bismuth from across the way.

The jig was up, if Garnet had not already predicted it, beforehand. Bismuth eyed her down.

“Is something wrong?”

Bismuth looked back to Pearl who looked back at her with those curious, soulful eyes Bismuth couldn’t resist getting lost in. Due to the current circumstance, however, she knew she had to snap out of it and keep her mind focused on the matter at hand. 

Bismuth fashioned a chuckle, grinning. “‘Course not,” she said, “but hey, didn’t you say you had something to take care of regarding… organic gems?”

Pearl gasped. “Oh, Stars! The Kyanites! I’ll be right back.” She bolted in the direction opposite from the Forge. Bismuth watched as she sped away. 

Bismuth waited until Pearl was far enough, then fixed her gaze back onto Garnet who still sat in the same position with that same still, piercing look on her face. 

She approached Garnet with clenched fists, but immediately switched her expression by putting on a happy face as she drew nearer. 

“How’s it going, Garnet?” Bismuth opened with a wave, as casual as she could be. 

“Could be better,” she replied, placidly. She didn’t need to elaborate. Bismuth knew exactly what she had meant.

Bismuth clicked her tongue. “Yeah,” she said, “I know what that must have looked like, but that should be fine, right? We both know there’s no  _ completely  _ avoiding her, so a few minutes now and then shouldn’t have to count, right? I mean it’s not like I’d let things go beyond that.” 

“That’s not entirely true is it?” 

Bismuth swallowed a hefty gulp and began to break out in a bout of transparently nervous laughter. “I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re getting at here.”

Garnet didn’t respond. She only remained perfectly poised with her hands folded over her knee as she stared up at Bismuth with her same, unchanging expression. 

Bismuth knew she couldn’t lie to her. 

Bismuth relaxed her falsified expression into a more genuine one. “Alright,” she said, “even  _ I _ know that your predictions have limits. How would you even  _ know  _ about that?”

“Pearl told me where she was going last night,” Garnet replied, rigidly. 

“ _ What _ ?” Bismuth reacted, incredulously. She, then, took a moment to ponder a sudden thought. Garnet let her have that moment.

Bismuth had a feeling that she knew exactly why Garnet wouldn’t tell Pearl everything she has already disclosed to her. By keeping tabs on Pearl, she could be sure that she always knows what to expect without any doubts because Pearl has no reason to lie about it. It would remain Bismuth’s responsibility to know better. It was up to Bismuth to stay away. 

This set something off in Bismuth that she couldn’t completely make sense of. As right as Garnet may have thought she was, Bismuth didn’t know why it had to be this way. None of it was making sense to her. 

Bismuth’s scowl replaced her worried expression as she began to grow even more frustrated. 

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” said Bismuth, clenching her fists again. “We were just catching up  _ and  _ we ended up having a  _ great  _ time, last night. There’s nothing wrong with that!”

“Bismuth,” Garnet said, calmly, “you have to listen to me-”

“No,  _ you  _ listen to  _ me _ ,” Bismuth interrupted, pointing a finger at Garnet and then herself to emphasize. “Someone has to draw a line here because this isn’t right. You shouldn’t be keeping something like this from Pearl. It’s not fair to her and it’s not fair to  _ me _ ! Why is it all up to  _ me  _ to make sure things don’t go wrong? I already did my time with that and I am  _ not  _ going to stand here and continue to lie to Pearl just because I’m afraid of messing things up all over again.”

“You have to trust me, Bismuth. You don’t want to-”

“If you don’t tell her,” Bismuth interrupted, once again, “then I will.”

Garnet sighed, standing up from her seat on the bench to stand before Bismuth. 

“You have to understand,” she said, taking Bismuth’s hand with both of her own. “I’m doing this for your own well being. The future I see where you tell Pearl the truth, it will only make everything spiral into greater possibilities in which all the negative paths will begin to outweigh the good ones.” She squeezed Bismuth’s hand. “You don’t want that for Pearl  _ or  _ you, do you?”

Bismuth’s scowl remained as she removed her hand from Garnet’s hold. “None of this is fair,” she reiterated, firmly, dodging the question, “especially not to Pearl.”

“Then stop seeing her,” Garnet retorted, just as firmly.

“That’s impossible,” Bismuth argued with a scoff. “She’s not gonna stay away from me  _ now _ , with how great things have been going and, if you haven’t noticed, we literally work barely 50 feet from each other!”

“I already told you what you need to do,” Garnet replied, going back to sit on her bench. “It’s your responsibility to figure out how that’s going to work.”

“You know what,” Bismuth began, beginning to raise her voice as she had her finger pointed to Garnet. She paused when she saw two humans begin to approach the bench Garnet was sitting on. It appeared that it was time for Garnet’s afternoon counseling session.

Bismuth took the hint and began to awkwardly smile at the couple who eyed Bismuth with furrowed brows. 

“Excuse me,” Bismuth told the couple, before lowering her upper body closer to Garnet to whisper, “We’re not through with this conversation,” and walking away.

As soon as she made her way back to her Forge, she saw Pearl approaching her direction. 

“Phew,” said Pearl, wiping off an imaginary drip of sweat off her forehead. “Glad  _ that’s  _ taken care of.” She held her hands together behind her back. “So,” she continued, “got anything planned for the rest of the day?”

Bismuth made a quick, disgruntled sigh out of her nose before quickly glancing over to Garnet.

“Yeah,” she said, looking back at Pearl before turning her back on her to walk into her Forge. “Tons.”

“Wh-” Pearl tried to speak, but Bismuth was quick to enter her Forge so she followed her in. 

Bismuth, immediately, went to grab a handful of gravel out of one of her buckets to dip it into her pool of lava. 

Pearl could sense the frustration coming from Bismuth. It was in her voice when she talked and it was with her movement with the force of her sledgehammer hand slamming on the hot anvil. 

“Is something wrong?” Pearl was almost afraid to ask.

“Nothing’s wrong Pearl,” Bismuth answered, sounding irritated. “I just need some space.” She almost sounded defeated with that last sentence as she continued to hit her hammer onto the wrought iron atop her new anvil.

“Oh,” said Pearl, sounding just as defeated. “Okay.”

Bismuth couldn’t help but look when Pearl began to walk away, head cast down, shoulders slouched forward. She didn’t like seeing her like this, especially not if she herself was the cause of it. She knew she had to do it for the sake of Garnet’s warning, but she just couldn’t bear it. Pearl didn’t deserve to be treated this way, even if it  _ was  _ for her own good. 

“Pearl, wait!” Bismuth called out to her, approaching her from right outside the Forge where they began. 

Pearl turned around, almost immediately, hopeful and curious in her expression. 

“I…” She hesitated, placing her arm behind her head, awkwardly. “... I actually don’t have plans today.”

“Okay,” said Pearl, confused. “Then why did you-”

“Ah, it doesn’t matter,” she interrupted with a wave of her hand as if she had just waved the subject away. She looked back over to Garnet who had been staring back at her once more with that same placid death stare as the couple she was counseling began to debate amongst themselves. Bismuth looked back at her, peering her gaze. 

“You know what,” she said, looking back over to Pearl. She had a sudden impulsive thought as she asked Pearl for her phone.

“Wait here,” she told her before walking back into the Forge dialing a number. Pearl did as she was asked, waiting patiently for about all of two minutes before Bismuth returned with her phone. 

“Come with me,” Bismuth, then, told her as she grabbed her hand. “I have something  _ I’d _ like to show you, this time.”

With a little bit of Pearl’s help, Bismuth was able to call a cab that would be able to get them to where she wanted to take her. Pearl was curious as well as suspicious, feeling she already had an idea of where they were going to do.

Finally, they pulled up in front of…

“The Starlight Roller Rink?” Pearl questioned as they pulled up. She turned to look at Bismuth, questionably. “I thought they were only open at night.”

“They are,” said Bismuth, throwing Pearl a wink. “I called in a favor.” 

The first thing Pearl had noticed the moment they entered was how empty it was. There seemed to be no one there but them. 

They walked up to the skate booth to find that two pairs of skates each of their size were already placed on the counter.

“Perfect,” Bismuth said as she picked up the larger pair. Pearl, a sudden flush of joy and excitement in her eyes, went to pick up the other pair.

When they reached the inside of the rink, Bismuth gave a nod to the DJ standing in his booth and he began to put on an old record of some random classic rock song.

As the song began to play, Bismuth offered her hand to Pearl who took it as they skated further toward the center of the rink. 

Once they got far enough, Bismuth, suddenly, pulled Pearl in closer to her, raising the hand she held up in the air as Pearl tried to keep her balance by placing her hand on Bismuth’s shoulder. Bismuth followed that by placing a hand on her waist. Soon enough, they began to dance on the rink together.

_ Oh here it comes _

_ That funny feeling again  _

_ Winding me up inside _

_ Every time we touch _

“Wow,” Pearl said, impressed by Bismuth’s ability to tackle dancing while on roller blades. “You seem to have picked this up fast, haven’t you?”

Bismuth slightly chuckled and with a smile, said, “I had a good teacher.” 

She threw a wink at Pearl, once again, and was almost surprised at seeing Pearl blush at this. 

The song continued to play as Pearl smiled back at Bismuth, blushing. Then, she was instantly swept away as Bismuth pulled her in for a spin.

_ I tell myself _

_ Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell _

_ If we stand the test of time _

Pearl spun like a top, in place, for a moment before Bismuth caught her in a dip.

Pearl was astonished, stars in her eyes, as she looked back up at Bismuth. 

Bismuth smiled back down at Pearl, tenderly, holding the dip for that moment. Then, before another thought could be made, Bismuth picked her back up and spun her again once more, this time straight down the rink. Pearl stopped herself before she got too far off the rink, trying to recollect herself in a dizzied daze, almost toppling right over in the process. She pressed her hand to her forehead as she noticed Bismuth skating toward her.

With her arms held behind her back, Bismuth approached Pearl, circling all around her as she had maintained eye contact, teasing her almost flirtatiously as Pearl turned her head to try and keep up with her movement. 

_ It's got what it takes _

_ So tell me why can't this be love? _

_ You want it straight from the heart _

_ Oh tell me why can't this be love? _

Bismuth offered her hand to Pearl, once again, with the same confident smile she had in the cab, as the song’s tone began to shift with the bridge. Pearl smiled a sly smile and grabbed it but, rather than Bismuth pulling her in, Pearl pulled Bismuth back into the center of the rink and began to pull  _ her  _ in for a spin, only this spin wasn’t the same. In this spin, they had spun together, Pearl placing her hands on the curve of Bismuth’s shoulders leading up to her neck and Bismuth’s hands grabbing onto Pearl’s waist to keep balance.

They laughed together as they spun around the center of the rink. The moment her laughter ceased, however, Pearl found herself mesmerized as she began to get lost in Bismuth’s smile as well as her eyes when Bismuth’s laughter faltered to do the exact same.

Their stares lingered on each other for a moment as the bridge of the song began to escalate. Bismuth couldn’t seem to hold herself back. With one impulsive move, she felt her head behind to inch toward Pearl’s again as Pearl followed, instinctively. 

In the spur of the moment, They could sense their bodies beginning to melt and form into light, which could have only led to one thing.

Before Pearl’s eyes could completely close as she got lost in this moment, she saw their light shining through and, before either of their forms could completely flush over with light, Pearl began to snap out of her enchantment.

“Wait,” she began to mutter as their light only grew stronger. “Waitwaitwaitwait… STOP!”

The record scratched and the song cut off right before the bridge could transition back into the final chorus. Like a blackhole exploding into a nebula, their lights exploded as they each regained their solid forms. Whether it was the force of this or Pearl’s hands pushing forward to stop it, some kind of force in itself had pushed them both back on their wheels as they ended up rolling away from each other.

Pearl, eyes squeezed shut and fists clenched with her shoulders raised with tension, relaxed her body and opened her eyes to see Bismuth staring right back at her, sadness in her eyes, crestfallen.

An awkward silence filled the room. Pearl looked back at Bismuth, concerned and humiliated, placing both of her hands over her mouth in shame.

“I’m sorry,” she said, worry fixed onto her face.

“I don’t understand,” Bismuth muttered, utterly puzzled and unbearably frustrated. There was a rise in her voice and anger in her tone as she reiterated, “ _ I don’t understand! _ ”

“I- …” Pearl couldn’t seem to form the words. She, herself, started to get confused.

“I make a move and you follow it with every step until you suddenly just… pull away like that?!” 

Pearl began to reach out an arm to her, skating up to her, understanding her pain but not able to form the words to be able to reassure her.

"I don't know what's going on. It's hard to even understand what you want at some points. What am I supposed to do? What do you want from me?"

Pearl skated closer to Bismuth, inching toward her with every roll. 

"Bismuth…" Pearl called out, but couldn't seem to form the rest of the words as Bismuth went on. 

"What are we doing. What's going on here, huh? What are you so afraid of?!"

With that, Pearl stopped in her tracks. Her own words were being used against her and she couldn't take it anymore. 

She could feel a fire bursting in her own being. Unable to contain it, with one impulsive move of her own, she quickly approached Bismuth and grabbed her with both hands from the back of her neck as she pulled her in for a kiss.

The moment their lips met, Bismuth could feel the rush flow through her like fireworks as the song resumed in the background. She finally understood now, what this gesture of human affection had meant. Right now, it meant the world to her.

Their lips parted and Bismuth found herself speechless as she allowed Pearl to say, “ _ I  _ am not afraid of anything.”

Bismuth grinned, pulling Pearl in for another kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The classic rock song that was playing as they danced: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzRD-5E1iv8  
> ( _Why Can't This Be Love_ by _Van Halen_ )  
> AKA: Bispearl's theme song in this story.
> 
> So, I'm going to take this intermission and leave it right here for now to go on a brief hiatus.  
> I'll be skipping a week so no chapter next week, unfortunately, but I will have the next chapter posted the following week.
> 
> I've been overworked lately with working on this story added on to regular work and I'm starting to feel a bit burned out so I need this break to re-energize and be ready to put to work the storm I'm about to throw at you guys in the next chapter, so stay tuned! I'll be back soon.
> 
> Expect a new chapter on May 2nd. I'll see you next month!


	8. Nothing Personal, Just Bismuth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Bismuth and Pearl become closer, so does Steven with Connie. When he comes home to announce his official relationship status with Connie, something strikes deep within Pearl, causing her to spiral. Bismuth can sense something is wrong, but Pearl won't say what it is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feels good to be back!

Everything had seemed normal. Things could not have been better for the pair. After that night, revisiting the Starlight Roller Rink, everything had seemed to gradually change. Bismuth was no longer afraid of the future or any range of negative possibilities to feel any need to avoid Pearl or mind Garnet when they were caught all together. Garnet hadn’t approached Bismuth about it either, much to Bismuth’s skepticism. 

Over the next couple of weeks, Bismuth and Pearl nearly found each other connected by the hip from how much time they were spending together. When Pearl wasn’t stepping in as a teaching assistant to Bismuth’s class, Bismuth would be a student in Pearl’s lessons about Earth life and how to adjust to human customs. It was a good learning experience and she had the best teacher. 

Of course, neither of them had realized just how much closer than usual they were getting, especially after that night at the rink. They had both been caught in the sentiment of each other’s company so serenely that only Garnet could have foreseen what was to come next. 

One day, as day began to form into night, the pair had found themselves lost in conversation and basking in the sentiment of each other’s company, once again, at the Crystal Temple, inside the wooden house that had originally been built for the one half-gem the two weren’t expecting to return home so soon. 

As graceful as the rose that symbolized his whole life, Steven pushed through the front doors with a goofy smile on his face and a frothy blush on his cheeks as he heaved a wistful sigh, entering the room. 

“Wow, Steven,” Bismuth commented, an ankle to her knee and her hand extended over the top lining of the couch where Pearl was sitting right beside her. “Having a good day, are we?”

“Oh!” said Steven, not noticing the pair up to that point as he closed the door behind him. “Hi, guys.” He waved. “Yeah, today’s been just…” He heaved out another wistful sigh, once again, “... just.. wonderful.” He couldn’t get rid of the smile on his face when he said, “I asked Connie to go steady.”

Suddenly, Pearl could feel the entire universe all around her as time slowed down and his words began to echo in her head like an all-too-familiar nightmarish memory resurfacing itself. 

_ I asked Connie to go steady.  _

_ She said yes! _

_ Greg asked me to go steady with him... Isn’t that such a wild concept, these human traditions?! _

_ I said yes! _

Her fingers were trembling as they were curled up to her mouth. Her other hand was placed softly on her leg and began to tremble as well. She had already begun to find herself thinking too much of her lately, but something really struck her this time. She was jittery with anxiety.

Bismuth noticed this immediately. 

“Hey,” she spoke to her softly, placing a comforting hand on Pearl’s shoulder. “You okay?”

Pearl looked over to Bismuth, then down to her trembling fingers, then immediately went to tuck them away. “Oh, she said, “It’s nothing. I’m fine.” She broke out into nervous laughter. “All good here.” She gave a thumbs up to Steven. “I’m so happy for you, Steven.” She laughed louder. Steven was too lovestruck to notice as he swayed himself upstairs, but Bismuth wasn’t buying into it. 

She grabbed hold of Pearl’s resting hand as soon as Steven had left the room. 

“Pearl,” she said. “Really, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”

As if Bismuth’s words worked like magic, Pearl had immediately calmed herself at the question, relaxing her shoulders and removing her curled up fingers from her mouth. 

“Oh,” she replied with a sigh, waving a dismissing hand. “It’s nothing to worry about, really.”

“Right, but-”

“I mean it, Bismuth,” Pearl interrupted, trying to elude Bismuth’s uncertainty. “I’m fine.” She threw on her best fake smile which was only half way as convincing to Bismuth. 

However, as reluctant as she was to do so, she told Pearl, “Alright, fine. I’ll leave it alone,” and left it at that… for now.

Later, they had migrated over to Bismuth’s Forge so that Pearl could get some more training on the skills of being a blacksmith. It was a nice romantic gesture Bismuth had set up, but little did she know the fuse she was lighting with it.

Literally.

Bismuth’s lessons began with a simple hammering technique. Where she could change the form of her hand into any tool she wanted, Pearl wasn’t so sharp. She needed actual tools. Bismuth always carried extra tools in various toolboxes in the case that her students would need to use them for their lesson. 

Bismuth grabbed one of the toolboxes from their usual corner and placed it atop her anvil. 

“Alright,” she said, opening the box. “So we’ve gotten past the whole armor ordeal. That one’s easy, but now I think it’s time for a little challenge.”

Pearl raised a brow, intrigued.

“Today, I’m gonna teach you how to make…” she paused for dramatic effect, bringing her hands close to her face to make a ‘wow’ gesture as she opened her palms as she announced, “... a horseshoe.”

“A horseshoe?” Pearl did not seem too captivated by the idea, though she could see the excitement in Bismuth’s face.

“I know, right?” Bismuth responded. “Who’d have thought humans would have found a way to forge things a Bismuth like me can, but make it their own and adapt the craft to their  _ own  _ environmental needs.” Bismuth went over to the furnace and pulled out a finished horseshoe to demonstrate. “Remember how you were teaching us about Earth’s ‘animals’? Well, Steven helped me do some research and I found out that humans use these on what you called  _ horses  _ and nail them to the bottom of - I think you called it a ‘hoof’ - and it’s supposed to keep their hooves from breaking apart or somethin’. Believe it or not, a few of my students have found it to be quite the challenge. I’d say it comes a close second to building a sword.”

Pearl smiled. It warmed her heart to see Bismuth so enamored by Earth’s wondrous fascinations. “And how did you learn how to make this ‘horseshoe’?”

“Oh, it was easy.” Bismuth replied, throwing down a dismissive hand. “Steven just showed me a video of one being made and I just put the rest together in my head. Seems pretty simple, but when it comes down to it, there’s so many ways it could go wrong, but don’t worry. You’re working with the best blacksmithing Bismuth in town.” she gestured to herself and winked at Pearl who giggled right back at her saying, “I’m pretty sure you’re the  _ only  _ Bismuth in town, but I’d still consider you the best.”

Bismuth laughed as she put the horseshoe back in its spot before walking back to Pearl. 

“Here,” she said. “Let me show you how it’s done.”

Bismuth pulled out a cross-peen hammer for Pearl to use. Even though their forms were just an illusion, Pearl wasn’t completely devoid of heat damage so Bismuth had her put on a heat-resistant glove to hold onto the metal tongs she would need to use to hold a metal rod over the fire that would heat it up enough to be able to bend it.

Pearl was quick to figure out where she needed to go with it next, being one step ahead of Bismuth as she made her way over to the anvil to bend the rod around the tip of it. 

Bismuth was impressed. 

“Alright,” she said. “Now you’re gonna need to flatten it with the hammer. Not too much though, but just enough so that you can fit the dents in the center of it.”

Pearl nodded and proceeded to vigorously pound at the metal with the flat side of the hammer until it was flat enough.

Bismuth took care of the next part which was to break the excess metal off of the rod by forming her hand into a sharp enough edge that would snap it right off with enough exposure to heat.

“Now,” Bismuth continued, handing the horseshoe back to Pearl, “flip the hammer over and use the peen side to create the line that runs through the center of the horseshoe.”

“Right,” Pearl responded, firmly positioned over the anvil, not keeping her eyes off the horseshoe as she turned the hammer over and began to raise it in the air.

“Whoah, there!” Bismuth shouted, sticking her hands out to Pearl’s hammer. “Not like that.” 

She lowered the hammer back down to the anvil and said, “In order to get an accurate enough dent into the center, you’re gonna need to hammer it in.” She went to pull out a small sledgehammer from the toolbox. 

“Use this,” she said, holding the hammer out to Pearl. 

Pearl grabbed hold of the hammer and, now holding both hammers in her hand, stood dumbfoundedly. 

Bismuth chuckled a bit. “Here,” she said, getting closer to Pearl as she came up behind her and placed her hands on her wrists to help show her how to properly create the dent.

“Try it like this,” she continued, placing the peen side of the cross-peen hammer over the center of the horseshoe and using the sledgehammer to hit the flat surface of the cross-peen, creating the first dent. Bismuth lingered her grasp on Pearl whose grip on the hammers began to soften as she turned her head to Bismuth who looked back at her from a lips distance.

The pair had found themselves lost in each other’s gaze, once again, feeling much closer to each other than ever before. They, suddenly, found themselves, simultaneously, inching toward each other for a kiss, almost as if their bodies were completely in sync.

Then, almost immediately after, their bodies began to disintegrate into each other again as their forms began to completely flush with light. 

Pearl noticed it a little bit later, this time. It wasn’t until they were on the cusp of losing themselves completely in someone not entirely them that she could sense the familiar feeling and broke the nearly formed fusion, throwing both gems in opposite directions landing on their rear. 

That was the closest Bismuth had ever gotten to fusion. She didn’t realize the damage that was to be taken from such an abrupt separation as this.   
Bismuth groaned, rubbing at her temple. “What was that?” she said.

“I think…” Pearl began, standing up as she collected herself. “I think we almost fused.”

“No,  _ duh _ , we almost fused!” Bismuth yelled. “But, I mean, what  _ was  _ that? We were right there! What happened?”

“I-” Pearl began, confused, finding herself devoid of words to speak in her defense. It was then that she had realized Bismuth’s frustrations were never about a mere kiss.

“It’s like every time, there we are, getting closer and closer to it, but something stops you. Every. Time.” She began pacing. This went on for about a moment, Pearl still rendered speechless.

“I don’t understand.” Bismuth continued. “I thought this is what we wanted. I thought this is what  _ you  _ wanted.” 

Pearl didn’t know what to say. She just bit her lip in an anxious move.

“These past few weeks…” Bismuth went on. “I thought we were connecting. I really thought we had something going. I mean…” 

Bismuth, back facing Pearl, turned to look at her from the end of the room she was pacing and asked her, “Didn’t you feel it, too?”

“Bismuth,” Pearl began, hesitant to speak, “you have to understand; it’s more complicated than that.”

“No,” Bismuth responded, instantly, “I don’t think it is. _ I _ think you were avoiding it at the rink and you’re avoiding it now. You’ve been avoiding it this whole time!”

Pearl, still quite hesitant to form a good response, opened her mouth to try and speak, but couldn’t form the words in time for Bismuth to continue steering the conversation with the disappointed look that began to form in her eyes as she appeared to have come to some kind of realization.

Utterly distraught, Bismuth sighed and said, “ _ That’s _ why you kissed me that night, isn’t it; to avoid talking about it?”

“Bismuth,” Pearl finally spoke in her defense, “You know me and you know that isn’t true.”

“Clearly, I don’t _‘know’_ you, Pearl,” Bismuth air-quoted. “There’s thousands of years between us that I don’t know about you, not really. Maybe I never will, but that doesn’t matter anymore. The past is in the past and I’m not trying to stay there. What I care about is now _!_ _Right_ now. And, right now, I need you to stop acting like nothing is wrong here and tell me what’s _really_ on your mind.”

“I can’t,” Pearl responded, shaking her head. 

“What do you mean you can’t?” The rise in Bismuth’s voice ceased to falter. “Just tell me!”

“I can’t!” Pearl repeated, louder, pressing her palms to the sides of her head. “It’s too painful for me to bear.”

“What is?” Bismuth kept pushing. 

Pearl began to squeeze her eyes shut, keeping her palms to her head. 

“Pearl!” Bismuth shouted, completely and utterly frustrated at this point.

“Oh, Stars- I was  _ there _ , alright?!” Pearl blurted. 

Bismuth furrowed her brows. As she opened her mouth to question where exactly “there” was, Pearl continued before she could.

“I was there when Rose became Steven,” Pearl elaborated. 

A crippling silence filled the room. 

“Steven saying how he asked Connie to go steady… It’s something humans do when they decide they have mutually fallen in love with each other. Greg asked the same question to Rose and…” She paused, trying to catch her breath as tears began to form in her eyes. “... and that was it. Everything changed after that. Rose and Greg were inseparable and she became more human so that they could make Steven.” 

Bismuth stood still in utter bewilderment to what this had to do with-

“I try to ignore it but, deep down, I know I still miss her. Sometimes, and I know this might sound selfish of me but, even though I know now that she’s truly gone, I still hold out that little shred of hope that when Steven grows old and dies… she’ll find her way back again.”

It was as if Pearl’s words were a sword of Bismuth’s own design, plunging deep into her form. Not even; this feeling was worse, like she had just gotten struck by the Breaking Point and could have shattered altogether. Pearl didn’t feel the same. She couldn’t, not when she was still hung up on Rose. 

As much as she always wanted to comfort Pearl when she saw her cry, Bismuth could currently find no sympathy for her in this moment. She could not seem to contain her anger about-

“Rose,” she muttered aloud. Then again, gradually growing louder. “Rose, Rose, Rose, Rose, ROSE! It’s always Rose. Everything has always  _ been  _ about Rose! Rose is all anyone ever wants to talk about when she is the  _ last  _ thing I ever want to  _ think  _ about!”

Pearl, struck by this sudden outburst when she expected comfort, felt the same sunken feeling Bismuth had felt begin to fall inside her. Her brows furrowed, mirroring the same anger Bismuth was now showing. 

“You don’t understand-” began Pearl, still choking back tears, before she was interrupted by Bismuth.

“Oh, I understand, completely. I understand that you’re  _ still  _ in love with her, even after knowing what she did to me, even after knowing she didn’t choose  _ you! _ She abandoned you and left you with  _ nothing  _ but the responsibility of a human child to take care of. She left you with no answers and no explanation and she left it up to you to fix the mess she created for all of us!”

“You don’t understand what we  _ had _ ,” Pearl finished her sentence. “You will  _ never  _ understand!  _ Nothing  _ can compare to what we had. She was  _ everything  _ to me, despite what she did!”

“Yeah?” Bismuth quickly stepped closer to Pearl, standing over her as she said, “Well, now she’s  _ gone  _ and ‘everything’ is in the past now.”

Suddenly, Pearl found Bismuth asking her an all too familiar question.

“It’s over, isn’t it? So why can’t you move on?”

Pearl hesitated, never having been able to answer that question for herself. She trailed her gaze away from Bismuth and down to the ground, pensively.

Bismuth scoffed, shaking her head. “Nothing can compare, huh? Not even me? ‘Despite what she did’? After everything we’ve been through together, you’re  _ still  _ going to put her over me? Over everyone?”

Pearl said nothing, knowing her words were pointless at this point. No matter what she said, she would never get Bismuth to see it from her side as she would never be able to understand things from her side. This was a mistake. This was all a mistake. She should have never let herself get so close.

So, like the broken gem that she found herself to be once again, she stiffened her upper lip and stormed out of the Forge, tears still flowing down her cheeks. 

Bismuth tried to catch up with her but stopped at the entranceway as she saw Pearl run toward the Little Homeworld’s central warp pad.

“Fine, go!” Bismuth yelled out to her. “But you’re not the only one who knows what it’s like to lose someone!”

She watched as Pearl proceeded to warp away, dropping the glove she had still been wearing. Then, Bismuth sighed as she turned to walk back to the unfinished horseshoe that lay atop her anvil. She took the unfinished horseshoe up to the pool of lava, staring down at it for a moment before ultimately tossing it in and then making way to her underground abode.

***

Eons into the past, the freshly recruited Bismuth walked across the edge of a mountain with her new Crystal Gem compatriots. She took one last look at the life she was leaving behind as she could see the last of her former crew of fellow Bismuths lining back up to re-board the ship that would take them back to their next mundane mission. That would be the last time Bismuth ever looked back...

… or so she thought.

Walking behind the rest of the group, Bismuth saw Garnet take one more slowed step before she stopped completely. 

Bismuth had noticed the concerned expression in all three of her eyes as Garnet looked down, pensively, before she gasped. 

“Bismuth,” she said, “I’m so sorry.”

“For… what?” Bismuth asked as she started to notice everyone else’s eyes looking off to the distance. She turned to look as well and saw a flaming circle of light in the distance, growing larger. 

As the light grew, Bismuth began to notice it resembled the shape of a Diamond.

“No,” she said, looking from the light back down to her former Bismuth crew that were still lined up in front of the ship.

“The Diamonds must have heard about Bismuth joining our rebellion,” Rose said, staring out into the distance with fire in her eyes but calmness in her voice as she spoke. “They’re not happy.”

“Oh, no,” said Pearl, bringing her hands to her mouth in concern. “Those poor Bismuths...”

“What are you talking about?” Bismuth questioned, looking to them before looking back to her former crew lined up in the distance. “What are they going to-”

In a bright flash of light, Bismuth found her question answered before she could finish asking it. 

The very moment the light had cleared, the group of lined up Bismuths were gone, wiped out from existence without a trace. 

_ “NO!” _ Bismuth cried out, screaming at the top of her lungs, dropping the equipment she was carrying as she fell down to her knees. “No…” she repeated, sobbing before dropping her head into her hands in grief for her fallen fellow gems.

Garnet approached Bismuth, placing a hand on her shoulder as she knelt down to her level. 

“They didn’t want to risk any other Bismuths from my facet falling into the same kind of rebellion,” Bismuth said, removing her hands from her face as she stared back out into the distance, watching as the emotionless Sapphire made way back into the ship before it took off. 

“This is all my fault,” she continued.

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ say that,” Rose said, sternly, approaching Bismuth as Garnet moved away to make room for her.

Bismuth turned her attention to Rose.

“ _ None _ of this is your fault,” Rose continued, cupping Bismuth’s cheeks with her hands. “Nobody deserves this and you don’t deserve to punish yourself for being only you.”

Rose stood up straight and offered her hand out to Bismuth.

“Come on,” she said. “We have a fight to win.”

Bismuth looked up at Rose who was glowing in the light of the Sun that shone from behind her. Her pink curls gracefully flowed with the wind. This was it. This was her chance. With Rose as her leader, she was going to fight for herself and all of the family she would gain along the way.

… and she was going to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought it would be fun to dig around Bismuth's past and theorize just how exactly she became the murderously vengeful gem she turned out to be.
> 
> Had to do quite the research for this one in order to get the blacksmithing scene accurate.
> 
> I've got two more chapters for you guys after this. After messing around with plots, I've finally figured out the best conclusion to set for this story.
> 
> Stay tuned for next week's flashback into Pearl's past with Rose!


	9. The Rose and Pearl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It's over... Isn't it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, I did get this chapter's title from a Wicked musical lyric xP

There was nothing, now. As Pearl found herself racing toward Little Homeworld’s central warp pad, she found herself believing that there was nothing left for her to do other than look back. Moving backward, once again, she wondered when she was going to take that next step forward again as she warped herself straight into her past…

***

It was a different time. Rose Quartz’s rebellion was on the rise in a relatively new form with the newly recruited Ruby and Sapphire fusion that had shifted the objective completely. From the moment that fusion tumbled straight back into their path, it was no longer just about the Earth. Now, the Crystal Gems had more to fight for and more fighting for them.

The sun had almost completely set after a long day’s hike through Earth’s forests. It was much harder to travel throughout the night, not just because of the impending darkness but because of the creatures that would lurk at night and cause an unnecessary amount of fighting off that the Crystal Gems certainly did not need. So, they went somewhere they could camp out for the night.

Rose and Pearl already had somewhere they were staying to prepare for their battle up in Blue Diamond's court, so they decided to make camp there and build some extra room for the newly recruited fusion gem they had adopted.

The fusion had her own hut to rest in whereas Rose and Pearl made way into the one that was already built for them. 

With a single candle to light up the room, the two gems sat cross-legged across from each other. 

After a brief and awkward moment of silence, Rose, unable to contain herself, finally broke it, addressing the elephant in the room… Well.. the other room.

“By the Stars,” she exclaimed, excitedly. “Can you believe it? I still can’t believe it. I mean, we almost fused! For a split second, we were just like that fusion.”

Pearl tried not to say anything. Even though things seemed a little different than she was expecting in terms of serving as a Pearl, she still knew her place and didn’t dare speak when not asked or talk when her Diamond was talking.

“I wonder how it worked,” Rose continued with a pensive finger to her chin. “It all seemed to happen so fast and so suddenly. Our forms just found some way to naturally merge, almost with no effort.”

With her keen intellect and articulate observational skills granted to her to aid in her purpose, Pearl definitely had an idea or two as to how a fusion between two different gems could have occured, especially how it almost occurred between the two of them. However, she still said nothing… 

… until she was asked.

“How do _you_ think it worked, Pearl?”

Pearl, caught off-guard, swallowed a big gulp and cleared her throat, trying to muster up a good enough way to explain something as new and unheard of as a fusion of two different gems. 

“Well…” she began in her calmest voice. “For that, we would have to think about how it would have worked for the Ruby and Sapphire fusion. From what I’ve gathered, it seems that the two gems had connected in a way that made their two similar thoughts form into one. Their forms must have followed.” Pearl brought her palms together, bringing her index fingers to her lips, pensively. “She said they had fused again. Perhaps, the second time, it was more than just two like-minds that brought them together. It appears their emotions might have also been linked to their fusion. Two strong emotions for each other that they wanted to share as one. Now, they don’t feel the need to be apart again.”

When Pearl looked back up, she could see stars in her disguised Diamond’s astonished eyes. She didn’t know what to say or think… or feel.

She didn’t need to.

“That was…” Rose began, trailing off, bringing a palm to her forehead. “What a beautiful way to put it. I can’t believe there’s so much more to fusion than what we were being told.”

Pearl could feel the blue blushing up of her cheeks again. She could feel it again like before, what she was beginning to feel the moment she confessed to her Diamond before they almost fused. That rising sense of defiance and insurgence that could have and should have gotten her shattered if she was serving any other gem or Diamond...

… but not her Diamond. Her Diamond was on the road of defiance as well, but if she knew one thing, not only as a Pearl but as a gem, it was how that road leads to nowhere but pain and destruction.

“My Diamond,” she began, remembering her place, once again, “Are you sure that all this rebel fighting we’ve been doing… defying the Diamonds… is this all really worth the risk we’re taking by doing this?

Rose’s eyes widened. “Are you kidding? Did you _see_ what happened at that Cloud Arena in Blue Diamond’s court today? This isn’t just about protecting the Earth anymore. From now, moving forward, it will also be about protecting that fusion and every other gem that steps away from Homeworld’s natural order. The Diamonds shouldn’t resort to ruel punishment just because a gem wants to be more than what they are! That fusion deserves freedom just like you deserve freedom.” She tried stifling a laugh. “This all started out because I wanted a little freedom, but ever since I got that, my eyes have been opened to the fact that I’m not the only one who needs it. I actually feel like we can make a difference, not just for the life we’ve been taking to build our colonies but for all of gem kind as well.”

Rose brought her gaze straight to Pearl and took hold of one hand with both of hers. 

“I have you to thank for that, Pearl. If you never would have brought me here, I would have been blind to this terrible reality forever.”

Pearl looks down at their hands, then back up to Rose. Even though she hadn’t been asked to, she had suddenly found herself asking a question out of impulse.

“You… really think I deserve to be free?”

Rose let go of Pearl’s hand, her smile faltering. She sat up straight, taking in a deep breath, and trailed off her vision. She shook her head and, with a scoff, started smiling again.

“Oh, Pearl,” she said, leaning forward to cup Pearl’s cheek. “You already _are_.”

Pearl lingered her gaze on Rose for a moment before her vision began to trail off. She exhaled, deeply. It took her a moment to process this. She was already free. She had been free from the moment she brought Pink Diamond down to Earth. She just hadn’t realized it until now.

But freedom doesn’t come without a cost. There was always a price to be paid for freedom, especially for Homeworld gems.

“But…” Pearl spoke again for herself. “What happens when I’m not?”

“What?” Rose questioned, puzzled.

“What happens when the Diamonds find out who we really are and all of this goes away? What happens when they take me away and replace me and… and shatter me and the fusion… They’ll lock you away! You’ll be unhappy, again. The Earth will be destroyed! They’ll-”

“ _Pearl_!” Rose yelled, grabbing Pearl by her upper arms. 

Pearl instantly relieved herself of her anxieties and relaxed her shoulders. 

“They’re not going to find out,” said Rose, still holding on to Pearl. “I’m _not_ going to let that happen, okay?”

She lifted Pearl’s head up by her chin to help her focus her attention onto her.

“Let’s just stick to the story where I’m the Rose Quartz you met after you ran away, remember? You're not mine but you make me happy anyway.”

Pearl is stunned by Rose’s gaze, finally having realized she made her happy like she was meant to do. Another feeling she couldn’t explain, however, emanated from hearing this and she couldn’t help the blush forming in her cheeks. 

“I… I do?”

Rose smiled a warm smile at Pearl and said, “You’ve made me the happiest a gem like me could ever be.”

Pearl realized what Rose was doing. She was leveling with her as if she _was_ the Rose Quartz she had been imagining about.

“Tell me again,” Rose continued, “How you were imagining things without me asking you to... What are you imagining now?”

“I… Well, I…” Pearl hesitated. She suddenly felt one thought after the other manifest into her mind. She was imagining everything. She was imagining Rose and nothing more. She was imagining Rose and no one else. She was imagining what fusion must be like. She was imagining what freedom must be like. She was imagining the world.

In the same moment, Rose found herself imagining similar things, feeling similar things. Their similar thoughts and emotions were causing their bodies to illuminate in a very familiar way… Then their light grew… and grew… and grew..

Then Rose and Pearl were gone… and someone entirely new was born.

***

Thousands of years later, a war was fought and lost. Pink Diamond no longer existed for she was now Rose Quartz forever…

Until she met a human who would change her life forever, if not end it by replacing her life with a new one. 

Rose Quartz, more human than she could have ever imagined, could feel the life growing inside her in the womb she had formed in order to create this life. Much research was done to make this happen in just the right way, but it had proved to be successful. She was pregnant, but not for much longer.

Rose went with Pearl to her fountain so that Rose could offer one last gift to her remaining friends before the child inside her was born and she would be gone.

“I can feel it, Pearl,” Rose said, patting her belly. “This little life inside me… Should be any day now.”

Pearl stayed silent as Rose proceeded to fill the fountain with her lacrimal essence. It made her uncomfortable to think about the life growing inside Rose and the inevitability of it coming because with that life, Rose would be gone. Pearl wasn’t so sure how she could accept that.

“I’m not sure how long it will take for little Nora or Steven to learn how to use their powers, so, until then, I’ll leave you all with this.”

With that, Rose activated the fountain and watched as her essence poured down from the eyes of her statue and filled out the entirety of the pool surrounding it.

Pearl watched as the liquid flowed from the statue's eyes and could feel some liquid substance about to form from her own eyes as well while she stood behind Rose.. 

“Isn’t it incredible?”

Pearl dried her tears as she approached Rose’s side upon the fountain.

“This life inside me. Can you believe it? For the first time, a gem that has the ability to grow and change and have a mind of its own with no one to tell them who they should and shouldn’t be.” She looked up to the sky. “They're going to be magnificent.”

“I don’t think anyone will ever be as magnificent as you,” Pearl found herself saying out loud. 

Rose laughed. Pearl couldn’t tell if it was in response to what she had just said or a way to ignore it.

“Wow,” said Rose. “Things are really going to change, aren’t they?”

Pearl knew she didn’t have time to feel nervous about the extent of this question. She wanted to enjoy as much time with Rose, however little time was left.

“Seems like something we should be used to by now,” she replied.

“Yeah,” said Rose, “but maybe that’s the point.”

“How do you mean?”

“Maybe we were never meant to get used to it all and move on.” Rose sat on the edge of the fountain, moving her hand through the fluids of her essence. “Maybe we were always meant to just simply let it be for what it is so that we _can_ move on. Change is natural for the Earth, so why can’t it be for us?”

Rose felt Pearl’s hand on her shoulder and looked up to her.

“From the very beginning,” said Pearl, “you have proved that it _can_ be and it _is_.”

Rose smiled up at Pearl who smiled back down to her. For a moment, it was like they were back in their camp after having adopted Garnet into their rebellion, only this time the roles were reversed. 

The pair stayed gazing upon each other for a moment and for a moment, all was right with the world.

Then, Rose felt a sharp pain pierce from deep within her body. She winced, slipping off the edge of the pool, down to the ground.

“No,” said Pearl, knowing exactly what was going on for she had been the one to conduct the research on human birth for Rose’s knowledge. “This can’t be happening _now_ ,” she said, panicking. “Not _now_!” 

“Oh, it’s happening now,” said Rose. “Right _here_ , right now!” She cried out in pain once again before taking quick breaths as she leaned back upon the pool’s edge.

“I don’t understand,” said Pearl. “Why didn’t Garnet say something to us before we came here?”

Rose let out one more stiff groan of pain, then let out a chuckle, smiling, before she said, “Maybe there’s some things about the new life forming inside me that not even _Garnet_ will be able to predict.” She began to giggle but felt the pain even stronger, this time and cried out, once more.

“Oh, goodness,” said Pearl, still panicking immensely. “We need to get you inside the fountain before this baby really hurts you.”

“No,” said Rose, trying to regain a more comfortable posture to prepare for the baby’s arrival. “It’s alright. This is supposed to be normal. It’s called ‘labor’ or something.” She winced again, grunting. “I don’t think the fountain will do much good at this point.”

Suddenly, Rose’s entire form began to glow pink.

“No!” Pearl grabbed Rose’s hand and squeezed. “You can’t leave, yet! Please, don’t leave me, Rose.”

With tears pooling out of her eyes like the fountain’s statue, Pearl closed her eyes, bringing Rose’s hand to her face, and said, “I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

“My Pearl...” Rose said, a hand to her womb, bringing the hand Pearl had taken down to cup Pearl’s cheek. 

“I’ll always be with you.”

***

Pearl recalled everything about that day. It was as if Rose was just beside her and they were just laughing together about the vast changes that awaited for them right before one of those vast changes came to fruition. 

What Rose didn’t know was what Pearl had meant when she said those last words to her: Pearl really _didn’t_ know what to do without her. She never really knew her purpose if she didn’t have Rose to lead her. For her entire existence, she had her leader, but what Pearl hadn’t realized up until recently was that Rose wanted her to be her own gem without being burdened to serve a leader. Pearl knew all these things already. She finally figured out what to do without Rose and how to live as her own gem. None of these revelations, however, could stop the pain she still felt from losing her and having her complete and utter loss of existence confirmed when Steven had been separated from the gem that once held her form.

Rose was really gone forever. It really _was_ over for the rest of eternity and Pearl still couldn’t help but feel completely crushed by this fact, finally having an answer to a question she had found herself asking only a few short years ago. She remained crushed as she sat near the edge of the fountain where Rose last sat before she perished, moving her hands through the fluids of her essence in the same way she had observed her doing that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a lot of fun with this one. It was a bit of a challenge to try and imagine Pearl's relationship with Rose from the beginning, so I had to look back at the SU episode "Now We're Only Falling Apart" for a better reference to the first scene and it got me to realize something: Pearl still thinks she's serving Pink Diamond at that point in their timeline. She was saying things like "I need to be replaced immediately" & "Forgive me" as if she was expected to be punished for stepping out of line. So I thought her liberation as a common Pearl might have been a good enough reason for her to fall in love with Rose, yet she never felt truly liberated because she always had Rose as her leader. I thought I'd touch on that in this chapter. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Stay tuned next week for the grand finale!!


	10. Would You Bismuth Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bismuth and Pearl learn what it is to move on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all get this one early because MiRaCLeS & I love you!

There was nothing now. As Bismuth descended into her underground domain, she found that there was nothing left to believe in when it came to her own selfish desires. She should have just kept her mouth shut. She shouldn’t have acted. Acting on her foolish ideas had always ended up in her own demise. No matter how great she thought they all were, putting any of her thoughts and ideas to action always ended up with her getting hurt. 

Bismuth stood directly in front of The Upgrade that hung up in its glass display, staring at it grimly and contemplatively, remembering a time when it had been a heartfelt reminder of new beginnings and changes for the better and not what it had become which was now a reminder of her current reality that became more clear with every moment she stood to ponder upon it.

An endless amount of thoughts began to cloud her mind: Maybe she had been wrong about Pearl or all Pearl’s in general from the beginning. Maybe Pearl wasn’t different. Maybe gems were never capable of acting outside their purpose. Maybe there was never anything special about Pearl and Bismuth had just always observed differently. Maybe Pearl’s remaining loyalty to her Diamond was something she herself was never capable of escaping because it was ingrained in her core from the moment she first emerged. Maybe Pearl would never stop being loyal to Rose, even when Rose hardly ever cared or showed to have returned any of the affections Pearl grew to feel for her. 

There was nothing left now. There was only clarity to this dismal and inescapable reality. Bismuth should have known better. She should have  _ always  _ known better.

With a long, despondent sigh, Bismuth brought her vision from the display, unsure what to believe at this point. Assuming the reality of things never really helped her cause, although it always became harder and harder to see any other side to it when there was just no other rational explanation she could muster. Regardless, she knew one thing for sure: Just as Rose couldn’t return Pearl’s affections, so was Pearl unable to return Bismuth's affections for her. Bismuth couldn’t understand why and that was what was killing her the most about it all.

She needed a distraction or something to at least calm the ever-raging storm in her mind. So, she elevated back up to the surface of her Forge to create some more work for herself and was almost hardly surprised by who she came to find upon having ascended.

Garnet stood near the entrance, leaning beside the entranceway almost in the same fashion as when a similar encounter occurred at the start of it all, after Bismuth left Pearl’s room with a sword.

“Well, well, well” Bismuth began, proceeding to get started on working as she walked over to the furnace to pick up some hot iron rods that had been submerged underneath the coals. “If it isn’t the great and all knowing Garnet. Come to say I told you so? Tell me I should have been the wiser? Silly of me to try and steer fate when you  _ clearly  _ knew what you were talking about.”

Bismuth brought the iron to her anvil and formed her hand into a sledgehammer to begin pounding the hot iron into a flat mold. She did this for about a minute before she noticed Garnet hadn’t said anything.

‘Well,” she said, pausing her work to look at her. “Go on.”

Garnet stayed silent, as if she was waiting for something like she knew the right moment to open her mouth. 

Bismuth sighed, calming her incredibly tense nerves before forming her hands back and stopping what she was doing.

“What are you doing here, Garnet?” She spoke softly, with ease. 

Garnet adjusted her visor and stood up straight. “I came to apologize,” she said, “for the way I’ve been acting toward you.”

Bismuth raised a brow. She wasn’t expecting this.

“A lot of times,” Garnet continued, “it still feels like it was only yesterday that I got married and we finally got you back again. If there was anyone who cared for you, above all of us, it was always Pearl.”

There was a pause when she said that, so ephemeral yet hardly acknowledged as she continued.

“I saw the signs and, as is what normally happens when a prediction begins to form, I started to see all these possibilities of how it could go wrong. Normally, if things are headed down a good path, I start out with many negative possibilities that shrink as the moment nears fruition… but… for some reason, this time, the negative possibilities were increasing.”

Bismuth furrowed her brows, noticing the way Garnet’s voice began to crack in between her words.

“I started to see so many possibilities… the things I saw… and they were only getting worse and worse with every new path.”

Garnet began to approach Bismuth.

“It’s never usually in my place to interfere in the timelines of others unless I am asked or the situation itself is so dire, but… I didn’t want to risk us losing you again. I saw so many paths where things went so wrong that you left forever or… even worse; you did something so self-destructive that it got you bubbled again.”

Bismuth watched with widened eyes as Garnet removed her visor.

“I didn’t want that for you,” said Garnet, placing her hand on Bismuth's shoulder. “I never did. I didn’t want the same thing that happened to Pearl to happen to you. I didn’t want you punished for something that was out of your control. You deserve  _ better  _ than that, Bismuth....We all do.”

Bismuth cast her head downward, pensively, having realized exactly why Garnet was so determined in keeping them apart. 

“So…” Bismuth began, hesitant as she was still absorbing all of it. “ _ That’s _ why you kept trying to stop me… before I did something we were  _ all  _ gonna end up regretting.”

“I knew I couldn’t stop you, but I thought I could slow the process of your timeline or just stop the negative paths from increasing altogether, but, with every action you took against what I kept suggesting, each negative path gradually began to take over a good one, one by one. So, I had to keep interfering. I didn’t want you to keep it going until there were no positive possibilities left and all that was left was…”

“... the bad,” Bismuth finished for her.

Garnet nodded. “You deserve to know all of this. I wouldn’t have said anything to you about any of it from the beginning if I wasn’t so concerned with how quickly the bad possibilities could overcome the good.”

Bismuth finally understood now. Garnet couldn’t have prevented it if she tried, and she did. The bond that Bismuth and Pearl had shared was much more powerful than that. That’s when she realized: none of it would have been an issue or a risk if Pearl wasn’t bound to return those feelings for her from the start of it, which meant that all that brooding and anger Bismuth was harnessing inside may have all just been for nothing. Pearl  _ did  _ return those feelings, she had just been trying to hold them back for reasons Bismuth could not comprehend…

Until now. 

Just as Garnet had been afraid of a future that seemed so inevitable and just as Bismuth had been afraid of creating that terrible future for herself and those around her, Pearl had also been afraid to let herself love again in the same way she had loved Rose…

… but she  _ did  _ love Bismuth. Those feelings had always been returned, no matter how much Pearl tried to help it. 

Bismuth could have smiled at the relief of this revelation, had she not remembered where she last left Pearl. She sighed once more, trailing her vision off to the side. Regardless of how Pearl made Bismuth feel holding herself back, none of it was worth losing her over. It was wrong to be upset about something Pearl had no control over. It was wrong to stay angry. 

She had never felt more wrong about what she had done and said to Pearl the last time she saw her, and she had her fair share of moments of realizing just how wrong she had been about past events.

“So..” Bismuth said, looking back up to Garnet. “How many good paths are left now?”

“At this point…” Garnet said, forming her visor back on, “One.”

Bismuth nodded in understanding, biting her lip before she clicked her tongue and said, “Then I guess that’s probably the one I’m gonna need to go with, isn’t it?”

She walked over to the entrance of the Forge, looking outside to where the central warp was placed, gazing at it pensively.

“So, then…” she began to ask, turning her head around to Garnet, “Where does that path lead?”

***

Pearl had remained crushed as she sat near the edge of the fountain where Rose last sat before she perished, moving her hands through the fluids of her essence in the same way she had observed her doing that day. Many questions ran through her mind:  _ Was it all worth the risk? Is it still? Should I follow my heart to the ever-so inevitable bitter end where it may just ultimately break once again? What do I do with these feelings? Do I really want to push her away? Will I be able to handle getting hurt again? _

All these questions, of course, were about Bismuth. Pearl knew where her feelings laid, as she always did, but it didn’t stop the constant doubt from arising. She had been crushed by this kind of love before. She just couldn’t bear the fear of feeling so crushed again, but she also knew she deserved to let herself be happy now in spite of the fear. She wasn’t sure which path to take as she remained trapped in this dilemma.

Confused and a bit lost, she pondered as she continued to swirl her hand through the essence of a long since perished soul she once felt as bonded with as she now could possibly see herself feeling toward Bismuth. She removed her hand from the liquid, drying it on her clothes. 

With a sigh, she leaned her elbow onto the fountain’s edge as she rested her chin on her palm. “What am I going to do?” she asked herself, weeping. 

“You can start by letting yourself move on,” Pearl suddenly heard from behind her.

She turned around and saw none other than Bismuth herself standing behind her.

“I get it now,” Bismuth continued, “Why you were holding yourself back. I understand. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

She extended her hand out to Pearl. “It’s over now, Pearl. You can let go.”

Pearl thought that maybe she had stuck her hand in Rose’s essence for too long, for she had felt as if somehow, She was hearing Rose’s voice speaking through Bismuth. As falsely as reality may have revealed, she didn’t mind it; the words still reassured her. She couldn’t have felt more sure if her late former Diamond had said those words herself. 

She took Bismuth’s hand, finally ready to reach grief’s final stage of: Acceptance.

Bismuth helped Pearl stand up to her feet where she ended up a lips distance just below her as she gazed up at Bismuth with those same captivating blue eyes. Bismuth began to lose herself, gazing right back at them before she shook her head, snapping herself out of it.

“Uh…” She tried looking away as she collected her thoughts. “G-Garnet told me you might be here.” She proceeded to make her ultimate infamous move of awkwardly putting her hand behind her head. “She- uh…” She cleared her throat. “She told me a lot of things about you… about… us, and- ”

As Bismuth began twirling her fingers through her multi-colored dreadlocks, trying to confess to Pearl how her own fear of messing things up came to fruition, Pearl remained locked in her gaze, taking Bismith’s arm and bringing it back down so she could then take hold of her hand. Bismuth, nervous as ever, began to tremble at her touch. 

Pearl continued not to speak as she brought her gaze down to Bismuth’s hand where she had held it, stroking her thumb over Bismuth’s stiff knuckles.

“I’m sorry,” Bismuth blurted, almost in a mutter, taking both of Pearl’s hands in her own, “For… everything. I should have respected your boundaries and not try to break down the walls you only built to protect yourself… and I get it. I know how hard it can be to move on from something that impacted you so severely and I should have been more sensitive to that. I guess I was also just afraid that I would mess things up again and I don’t know how I’d be able to forgive myself if I ever did anything to hurt you or-”

Bismuth could tell she was beginning to get hysterical when Pearl’s hand to her cheek had suddenly silenced her. 

“It’s okay,” said Pearl with loving eyes. “I’m sorry, too. I was afraid of letting anyone in after Rose, so I continued to shut you out.” She brought her other hand to Bismuth’s other cheek, leaving Bismuth’s hands in the air. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“I mean, I get it,” Bismuth said, leaving her hands out. “You were  _ made  _ for her. She showed you freedom but you still never left her side. I’m sure it would be hard to be able to let go of something like that, even now.”

Pearl sighed, looking off to the side, resting her forearms on Bismuth’s shoulders as her hands hung down from behind. “It’s more than that,” she said, almost smiling as she looked back up to Bismuth. “I was afraid if I let myself feel for someone like I had once felt for Rose... when it was all said and done and I lost that someone like I lost her that…” Pearl tried concealing her tears as she took a pause. “I don’t know. I don’t think I would be able to live with so much hurt and regret... especially if that someone was you.”

With raised brows, Bismuth blew out a sigh as she placed her fists to her sides and said,”Well, I don’t think I’ll be giving up my form for any half-human gems any time soon.”

Pearl rolled her eyes at Bismuth with a look that fought itself between amused and unamused. “Oh, stop it,” she said, beginning to smile. “You know what I meant.”

Bismuth laughed, finally figuring out what to do with her hands as she placed them on Pearl’s waist. Pearl shook her head but smiled at the joke. 

As if they were thinking the same thought, the pair both simultaneously leaned forward so that they touched foreheads. 

“So, I’m guessing Garnet already told you everything, too,” Bismuth said as they began to sway to music that wasn’t playing.

“She didn’t have to,” Pearl responded. “No matter what was to happen, there was always a fear of losing you, even before she came to warn me not to stop by your Forge the day after Steven brought us out to that ‘roller rink’.”

Bismuth widened her eyes, realizing that Garnet had told Pearl from the beginning, before she ever even warned Bismuth. 

“I think, in a way,” Pearl continued, “She may have always known we’d end up here.”

“Yeah,” Bismuth responded with furrowed brows, suddenly recalling: the one good path left. Garnet must have known exactly what it was from the start. This must not have been her first time dealing with a timeline crisis such as this one was.

Bismuth stopped swaying, bringing her head back. Pearl followed her movement, bewildered.

“I don’t know about you,” said Bismuth, “but I’m tired of living in fear of what’s to come. The way I see it, we’re not fighting any more wars, so there’s no risk there and in some horrible timeline where this doesn’t work out, I know I’d still want you in my life. I don’t care about what ‘might’ happen in the future between us. I only care about what  _ is  _ happening now…” Bismuth took Pearl’s arms from her shoulders before taking hold of her hands. “... and what’s happening now is that we’re fine. Our worlds are at peace…” She held Pearl’s face in her own hands this time.

“...and I’m not going anywhere.”

Pearl had her eyes locked on Bismuth’s in a daze, compelled by her words as much as doubt tried to seep its way in.

“So, what do you say?” Bismuth asked her. “Sound like a good plan?”

Pearl said nothing for she was caught in Bismuth’s enchanting gaze, once again, just as Bismuth began to get locked in hers.

They remained like this for a moment until Pearl allowed a tear to escape as it ran down her cheek, Bismuth catching it as she wiped it away with her thumb. 

“It’s alright,” Bismuth said, softly, bringing her hands from Pearl’s face back down to hold both her hands in her own. “It’s going to be okay, now.” She brought their hands close together and squeezed. “I’m here.”

Pearl looked back down to their hands, then back up to Bismuth. She smiled. Bismuth grinned back at her. 

Little had the pair seemed to notice how their forms began to take light. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone that gave this a good read and/or left a kudos, bookmark, or comment to show support for this fic. It really means a lot to me. I spent ten straight weeks on these chapters and I'm relieved to say I can finally rest now that it's over. 
> 
> Wonder if this is how the entire Crewniverse felt when the last episode of Future aired XD
> 
> Feel free to follow me on Tumblr, if you have any further questions about the fic or the little messages and meanings behind it!   
> => @shankress


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